(Closed) Asked Friend to be a Bridesmaid and She Won't Respond to Me!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would call her. Facebook is so impersonal. At the very least send her a text message…

Post # 4
Member
540 posts
Busy bee

Do you have her phone number? You really need to call, even if it means leaving a message. Tell her it’s okay either way.

Post # 6
Member
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Maybe call and leave a message or send another Facebook message saying something like “Just wanted to make sure you got my message. I also wanted to let you know there are absolutely no hard feelings if you are unable for any reason to be a bridesmaid, I just wanted to make sure I asked you because you are special to me for reasons x, y, z.”

Post # 7
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Well… it kind of sounds like a “no” to me, but she doesn’t want to actually say no. But I hope I’m wrong.

Post # 8
Member
1140 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If you feel it is an honor for her to be asked to be a bridesmaid, I probably wouldn’t have done it on FB. I’d call her and explain you’ve beenmeaning to call but thought fb would be easier until you both had the time to chat on the phone.  

One of my closest friends actually emailed me a few months ago to tell me she’s expecting. I was pretty pissed that she announced such big news in such an impersonal way. There are just some things that I think should be done in person or st the very least over the phone. 

Post # 9
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I feel that if #1, she won’t return your calls, and #2, you asked her over FB and were ok with doing that, she probably isn’t as close a friend as you thought. When I asked both of my BMs to be in my wedding, I did it over the phone since we’re all in different cities. But it was more personal than FB. Actually, FB isn’t personal at all. My guess is she’s either a littler perturbed you messaged her to ask, or you two aren’t as close as you thought.  

In any case, call her and talk about it. If you want her in your wedding, ask her then. 

Post # 11
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

It sounds like a “no” to me. I would message her again and tell her it’s no problem if she can’t.

Post # 12
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@misslala: Call her again. Say just what you wrote here, “I really hope that I didn’t offend you by asking over Facebook. That wasn’t my intention. You are a very special friend to me. I tried calling you but since we’re both very busy I just wanted to be sure to ask you before it got too late to give you the most time possible to consider it. I would really love for you to be my bridesmaid but if for some reason you cannot do it or it just isn’t your thing I totally understand. Would you please give me a call sometime this week or pop me a quick message to let me know? Thank you and looking forward to hearing from you.”

Post # 13
Member
7760 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer, but if she won’t respond in 8 days for such a simple request, I don’t think you want her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man. I would ask again, but try to ask in a way where “no” is the easier answer, e.g.

“Hi Sue, If you can’t be my bridesmaid that’s ok. It sounds like you’ve got a combination of sickness and study. I’ll assume it’s a no unless you phone me. Again, really it’s ok, and I should have asked sooner. I still really hope to see you at the wedding anyway and you’ll get your invitation in the mail soon, Love, Miss Lala”.

Post # 14
Member
8696 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

If it takes 8+ days for a response (maybe more since she hasnt answered yet) then why WOULD you still want her as a bm? I can see what would happen down the line with her being a horrible bridesmaid. I might be wrong but I would not want an unresponsive person to stand next to me on my special day.

Post # 16
Member
2050 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I asked one of my bridesmaids over Facebook because she is ALWAYS on there.  So I knew that was the fastest and best way to reach her (as she never answers the phone and is pretty ditzy with texting).  She responded in about a day.  With a yes. 

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