- Miss Mochaccino
- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Yes, that is exactly what she said, and yes, it was mean and hurtful. After that comment, she then said, “Just kidding, of course I would love to be a bridesmaid.” We were out to lunch with Future Mother-In-Law at the time, and then, Future Mother-In-Law chimed in saying, “Now you’ll have to pick out your dress and tell Miss Mochaccino what you think she should do with various aspects of the wedding.” And the Future Sister-In-Law said that she would have to learn about what the Bridesmaid or Best Man duties are, and plan a bachelorette party for me. And her mother said, “Be nice, don’t plan anything too extreme or wild!”
I tried to stay calm and realized that Future Mother-In-Law was probably making comments innocently that were designed to help her daughter feel more apart of the wedding. But honestly, the whole conversation, coupled with FSIL’s snide remarks, really made me feel sick to my stomach for the rest of the day. I am, at this point, just hoping and praying that she’ll be a nice Bridesmaid or Best Man. I am in no way letting her plan a bachelorette party because i don’t fully trust her.
Future Sister-In-Law has really struggled with her attitude towards me because she has felt jealous of my and FI’s relationship (she is single) and because my entering the family picture has meant that Fiance has less time with her. She is 25 so I would expect that she would be more mature about this, but it’s also true that she doesn’t have many friends to open up to and often cloisters herself to family contexts.
Having said that, our relationship has improved *so much* over the past year. I’ve done my best to be kind and welcoming to her, and have not returned her grouchiness or bitter remarks but simply taken it in stride. I also have made sure not to really let my guard down around her because it’s difficult to know how much I can trust her. I know that she did not want Fiance to get engaged when he did (he told me she tried to put pressure on him not to propose when he did), and I know she puts pressure on him to spend more time with her in general (and especially when Fiance and I are at family gatherings) so I know that she’s still not completely adjusted to my being there.
I have tried, and am still trying, to be understanding of her, and patient with her, and honestly still have hopes that possibly we’ll have a good relationship in the future. She means alot to Fiance, which is why I asked her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. But her lack of maturity and kindness is making me feel a bit nervous.
Any advice for navigating this tricky relationship with a bridesmaid???