Post # 1
SO I am doing the mismatched Bridesmaid or Best Man dress thing and letting the girls pick their own dresses so they don’t have to all agree on one but I set some guidelines to try and keep the look cohesive. I just said to get various shades of purple, length: long, and fabric: chiffon or lace.
My best friend from college first sent me a picture of a short dress and I had to remind her that I asked everyone to get long dresses. Then she found one that was basically perfect and went really well with all the other dresses and she even bought it (and it was from a thrift store so it was under $20!) so basically it was perfect. The next day, she apparently found another dress and it is the right color but it looks like more of a sundress and is linen! She didnt even ask me if it would work but told me she was really excited about this dress and would wear that instead and already told all the other bridesmaids that she would be wearing that one. She also told me that this one fits way better.
I ended up reminding her that I asked everyone to get specific fabric types so that we could keep the look cohesive and asked if the other one could be tailored and said it is pretty but it looks more like a sundress.
I am just so frustrated. I am trying to be a laid back bride by giving the girls some choice in finding a dress they each like but it makes me feel like a bridezilla to have to keep telling them to stick to the few guidelines I do have. I already have a lot of other things on my mind and it is just making it more stressful to have people continuously question choices I have thought about a lot and already decided on :/
Can anyone else relate?
Post # 2
Are your other bridesmaids rebelling too or is it just this one girl? I went the mismatched route (blush/champagne/cream palette, short, no requirements on fabric) and didn’t have any issues with my girls…except for one who thought she could get away without wearing a bra but definitely couldn’t! (Luckily another Bridesmaid or Best Man reined her in so I didn’t have to deal with that directly lol).
If you only have one person who’s struggling I wouldn’t stress too much. Just tell her you prefer the first dress she got due to the fabric requirements you had provided. Maybe to be nice you could google a few other dress options for her too that would fit your vision so she has some choices?
I think most of my girls definitely appreciated being able to pick their own dress, but I know that one or two of them might have actually preferred being required to just buy a specific dress so they didn’t have to think about it lol or spend time shopping. You can’t please everyone!
Post # 3
It may be beneficial to rope in the Maid/Matron of Honor to see if she could make some subtly pointed comments about Rebel Child’s dress nonsense. She’s already got a great dress, I don’t quite understand why she would continue to spend the money on other dresses that don’t fit…
Post # 4
Is it too late to pick the a bridesmaid dress brand that they can buy in slightly different styles/shades of purple and call it done? You’ll have less headaches, they’ll have less headaches..
As for your can you relate question: yes.. I had no bridesmaids, just my Maid/Matron of Honor. She changed her dress choice every 2 days. It stressed me out because she’d facetime me to have my opinion and I kept being like “DUDE THE LAST ONE WAS FINE PLEASE JUST TELL ME YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO WEAR THE WEDDING IS IN X WEEKS”. Then she sent me a text saying “what if I wore blush pink instead?” (we had agreed on grey or gold) and I was like “WTF? Ok fine, just put something on.”
She ended up wearing a beautiful grey skirt her mother made with the fourth white top she bought. It looked great.
Post # 5
I can relate! I told my bridesmaids I wanted any kind of purple to purple/red colour and to see if there was anything under £100 that they liked (I was paying for everything for them so on a strict budget). Price and colour were the only restrictions and my bridesmaids said they couldnt find anything they liked (I even sent some examples) and they picked out dresses from bridal stores that cost over £250 each. It was ridiculous. In the end I found a dress I liked and it sent it to them and said I was buying this one and that was the end of it!
In your situation I would make sure to see both dresses if you can in person and determine how they will look with the other bridesmaids. If the second doesnt go, I would just tell her that you want her to wear the first seeing as she owns it already.
Post # 6
It’s mainly just the one girl. The other girls have asked about other types of fabric and I have been pretty flexible on the fabric type as long as it is flowy/similar to chiffon/looks more formal. Basically I just didnt want anyone in cotton or a more casual fabric like linen because I didn’t want anyone to just show up in a sundress and have other girls in evening gowns.
Edit: All the other girls already have their dresses. I already put a collage together to see how they all looked together and everyone said they all looked good together and then the next day is when this bm changed her dress choice.
Post # 7
Allowing yourself to get this frustrated over one bridesmaid suggesting one dress that doesn’t meet your criteria is going to be very energy draining on you. Just respond with a prepared response “It’s a lovely dress but it’s not ____ or ____. Please find something that meets those criteria. I wanted to give all of you the flexibility to find a dress you like, but I can choose a dress if you prefer.”
Post # 8
oh how i feel you. I really want my theme color to be blush, mauve, champagne and a bit of white. One of my bridesmaid said there’s no way in hell she will wear any of those color. Now i have to change the entire theme of the flower and bridesmaids dresses i am adding dark red into the palette because it’s a color that she likes. My Bridesmaid or Best Man will also do mismatch now and that particular Bridesmaid or Best Man will wear the dark red.
I think you should tell her what you think. I dont have the gut to speak up because this particular Bridesmaid or Best Man always throws reasons like “i’m miserable lonely fat and now i cant wear the dress i want.” So for me changing the palette is easier than talking to her. Also i kinda dont wanna make her feel bad. Anyway.
i’m sure if you talk to her she will come along!