Post # 1
When I was planning my wedding I asked one of my closest friends if she would be one of my Bridesmaids. My wedding was a destination wedding, and after a couple of days she said No to me. She couldn’t afford the travel and everything else that came with it. I was a little dissapointed, because she said no and she wasn’t going to my wedding either. But I understand. Now she is getting married and she asked me to be in her wedding. I inmediately said Yes. One of my friends said ‘If it was me, I wouldn’t have said Yes to her’.
What would you have done?
She didn’t come to my wedding, but she was at my Bridal Shower and she also gave us a wedding gift.
Post # 3
I would have said yes too, she couldn’t afford to be your bridesmaid, that’s no reason not to be hers.
Post # 4
@MissBoPeep: That’s what I thought. I think its different too. Hers doesn’t involve travel.
Post # 5
If she couldn’t afford it, she couldn’t afford it. She did whatever she could to support you locally. And unless your friend offered her money to attend the wedding and she didn’t take it, I think her comment was a little childish, personally.
Post # 6
I think it’s a bit different.
Be the better friend and go to her wedding. If you want to be in her wedding, then be in her wedding.
Post # 7
I totally would have said yes. She had a legitimate reason for not being in yours and I’m sure it was very hard for her to say no! If you were to say no to her out of spite I would consider that a terrible thing
Post # 9
That’s silly of your friend to make that comment. What purpose does not saying yes have – holding grudges over her as if to punish her for not being able to attend your DW?
If I was able to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man for a friend, I would do so, regardless of what they were able to do for me for my wedding.
Post # 10
I would have done the same thing you did. You’re still good friends right? It’s not her fault she couldn’t afford to be in your wedding or even attend it since it was a destination wedding.
Post # 11
I would have said yes to her. Not being able to foward to part of a Destination Wedding is not a crime and doesnt mean she didnt want to be part of your wedding
Post # 12
I would have said yes, absolutely!
Post # 13
@MissBoPeep: agreed, different people, different circumstance.
OP, Im glad you seem to see it that way as well
Post # 14
You did the right thing and you are a good friend. She couldn’t afford to attend your wedding. I think its selfish for people to expect people to drop everything in their lives and spend a lot of money to travel lord knows where for there wedding. I’m not saying you felt that way-but some people do-and it rediculous.
Post # 15
I would’ve said yes to her also. DW’s can be expensive for guests, on top of the normal expense of Bridesmaid or Best Man. So, she obviously showed that she cares for you by going to your shower and giving a gift, and by asking you to stand with her.
Post # 16
I think you totally made the right decision! Not having enough money for something can be very hard, and it was good of you not to hold that against her. Sound like you are a true friend 🙂