(Closed) Asked to throw bridal shower- don't know bride

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Idk.  Say you are broke too (whether you are or not). I don’t care if you are young..she should know how rude this is!!

Post # 3
30399 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
loneranger13:  ” As I said, I’m sorry but I am not able to change my plans. “

Don’t add any more information or she will just counter every arguement you raise. Just keep repeating the same words.

Clearly this girl missed any etiquette training and doesn’t know how to use Google.

Post # 4
1338 posts
Bumble bee

“I’m sorry, it just isn’t a possibility.”

Post # 5
3797 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

View original reply
loneranger13:  WTF? I’m shocked she asked someone she barely knows and who isn’t even invited to the wedding to do this. A simple “I’m sorry, it won’t be possible. Please feel free to give your bridal party the resources I sent you. Congratulations again!” Just…wow. 

Post # 6
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
loneranger13:  Just send a “no.” without further explaination. You owe her nothing. It is niether your, nor your brother’s problem that no one that she knows can afford to throw her a bridal shower. By now she should know that a person cannot get everything that they want, just because they want it. Stressed or not, no one owes her a shower. There is no excusing her rudeness and entitled attitude.

Post # 7
7555 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

Ummmm what? Well done you for not just telling her to f*ck off! No need to respond to her last text. Your reply was well put together and clear. Let her go find someone else she barely knows to ask them to do it! 😉



Post # 8
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
loneranger13:  I am seriously shocked she would not only ask you to organize but PAY for her shower. How ridiculous! 

Just say something like I am truly sorry that I cannot help make your shower special but I absolutely cannot change my plans that weekend. Best wishes! 

Post # 9
4835 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

View original reply
loneranger13:  I wouldn’t be worried at all about hurting your feelings.  This girl has ZERO tact and social grace.  You already let her down gently once.  I would do one of two things.  The nice response would be: “Sorry, no.”  The passive agressive option (if you wanted to torture her a little) would be to not answer at all.

I’d just shoot her a quick “No” and be done with it.  I cannot believe her audacity, but like you I’ll chalk it up to inexperience and probably not having grown up with good examples to look up to.

Post # 10
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Is this girl alright?  Who asks someone who’s not even invited to their wedding to throw them a shower?  Tell this girl to kick rocks!  Ignore her messages. Good luck!

Post # 11
5136 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

View original reply
loneranger13:  this is alllll sorts of wrong.

Thank goodness you stuck up for yourself. 

1) A bride should NEVER ask for a shower

2) A bride should NEVER ask for a shower to be thrown by someone she doesnt know well AND is not inviting to the wedding 

If I were you, I would just ignore that last messagw. July 5 is next weekend. Crazy girl. Jjst when you think you have seen it all on weddingbee, somethig like this happens

Post # 12
530 posts
Busy bee

I would tell the truth. “No, I won’t plan and pay for your shower. That’s the responsibility of your bridesmaids if they feel you deserve one. We’re not even friends you weirdo. Why in the world would I waste my time and money on you?.” 

Post # 13
24 posts
  • Wedding: September 2014

I agree with @ julies1949 , just say I am unable to change my plans, but wish you the best of luck with everything. No details at all! If this person lacks etiquette I would not give her any opportunity to respond or to make you the subject of conversation. explicit gif but totally was my face….

Jonah Hill – The F?

    <li class=”time”>


Post # 14
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Just WOW. 

She has some nerve. You’re not invited to her wedding, not friends yet she expects you to cancel your plans, organize her shower AND pay for it?! Who asks for a shower?! I wouldn’t respond to her. You made it very clear that this is not something you are willing to do. You don’t owe her anything.

Post # 15
1429 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013


I bet she thinks this is perfectly okay to ask someone(stranger) to do…. And to PAY for. I would be an asshole and say something along the lines of “Again, I can’t change my plans, you should have thought about this before sending out invites to guests. Host what you (or your bridal party) can afford, and pick a day where they can help set up and clean up” 

Im a bitch tho…

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