First- I would like to thank you all for your time and responses!
Second- if this girl had asked my mom to host a shower- I would have lost it on her! My mother has not met the bride.
Third- this situation has taken a completely unexpected turn and I needed some time to try and process what the heck has happened. It will be long- a lot has happened in the past few hours and it feels so surreal.
I sent a message back late last night saying “I’m sorry I can’t help you. My plans for that weekend are non-negotiable to cancel” Didn’t explain further just left it at that. Ironically (?) I’m in a wedding next year and that day is to go dress shopping with the bride (YAH!). I woke up to a nasty message- which in all honesty didn’t surprise me. My computer screen was literally filled with f-bombs, c-bombs, you name it. I read the whole thing thru (which made me late for work and no chance to post what had happened!). The gist of it was ‘I’m a horrible person, stuck up and snotty. I’ve ruined her bridal experience and I should burn in h*ll’ At this point- what she thinks of me means d*ck all! And if calling me that makes her feel better, whatever, she means nothing to me and certainly will not in the future either. I didn’t respond. I thought that was the end.
After a few hours at work I met up with my two brothers at the Best Man’s house (oldest brother). We had planned to clean up my mother’s car as a surprise (she’s a plane ride away and thought it would be a nice thing to do. We just do those things- I don’t know why lol). While I was there Best Man brought up the bride. He asked if she had messaged asking for help with her shower. I told him that “Yes she had- but I can’t help out that weekend at all, but I gave her a few sites that I found really helpful (I didn’t want to drag him into this stupid crap storm so stopped talking). What he said next blew me away- “Well she’s going around telling everyone that you told her to eff off and get her crap together” (which in my head I did) “And you’re being completely rude and mean to her- she’s been crying all morning”
Bees- I wish I didn’t say anything after that, but really? Lying about how this conversation went down and telling everyone that I’m the bad guy? I responded with a “that’s not true!” And showed him the messages. Both brothers were pee-od and Best Man wanted to tell the Groom the truth. I stopped him and just said “What’s done is done. You guys know the truth and that’s all that really matters.” We dropped the conversation and went back to cleaning.
Next- Best Man gets a text. Bride and Groom are in the area and are coming to drop off some wedding itinerary. I decided to go into the backyard and play with the puppies until they had left. They came and the Bride came out of the garage and saw me. I had no where to go and she starts screaming at me the same things that she said in the message. Groom comes out and starts in on me too on how I’m such a horrible person and he expected more from me. Both brothers come out and stand between me and the couple, both groups yelling and screaming at each. I swear the whole neighbourhood heard the whole thing.
Best Man gets the upper hand and gets the Grooms attention- telling him that what his Bride has been saying is far from the truth and it’s actually completely opposite. I try to get him to shut up as I didn’t want him involved anymore than he already was. He doesn’t and says “You’re reading the effin’ messages dude!”
The Bride freaks and starts saying that the Groom is supposed to be on her side and if he looks at those messages he doesn’t trust or love her. Best Man grabs my phone and shoves it in the Grooms face “Read it!”
He does- his face falls- and he starts yelling at his Bride. He gets in his car and drives away. Leaving the Bride alone with myself and two brothers. I get yelled at again. I have “ruined her life, her happily ever after, and her wedding. I should jump off a bridge or hang myself from a tree”. Brothers tell her to leave the property or they will be calling the police. She leaves and walks down the back alley yelling about me being a b*tch and all that stuff.
Bees, right now I feel absolutely horrible, again on the verge of tears. It’s one thing to read comments and brush them off. It’s another thing entirely to be yelled at face to face and being told that I have ruined someone’s life and what should be one of the most happiest experiences in a person’s life. I can’t help but think that maybe I should have answered with ‘yes’ if it would have avoided this whole situation. I am absolutely gutted and feel horrible.
My brother offered to step down as Best Man because of what happened. I appreciate the thought, but I wouldn’t want this to come between him and one of his best friends. I told him to stay in the party to support the Groom- Lord knows he’ll need it. But if he doesn’t want to do that- it’s completely up to him. I don’t want him to base any decisions on what has happened to me. I also told both not to tell the folks- the situation doesn’t have to expand anymore than it has.
I guess I’m not looking for advice at this point. It’s just to update you lovely Bees. I’ve deleted all the messages and blocked her on FB. I’m just at a total loss on how it got to this point. And I’ve started second guessing myself if I have ruined someone’s life. It’s not a good feeling at all. I just feel horrible. I can’t describe it at all.
Thank you for listening