Asked what we were and confused by response

posted 4 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

I think that was him slightly awkwardly agreeing that you are exclusively dating and you are in a relationship and though to was obvious that it was unnecessary to bring up..

Post # 3
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee

I have no idea what he meant, and I can see why you don’t have any idea either: You need to be direct. Why ask him what he’d say to OTHERS were THEY to ask what you two “are”? You yourself really need to ask him if he considers you his girlfriend/if you’re exclusive. No need to beat around the bush. When I read what you asked him, I immediately thought you were a teenager, but then you said you have a student? So that suggests you’re older? Older people don’t act this way; they have honest, direct conversations, regardless of how nerve-wracking it may be. 

Post # 4
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It seemed like when he said that is what we was/were doing is pretty much a confirmation. 

Although, it sounds like you may both be inexperienced. In future conversations with him, it sounds like you need to be direct. Ask point blank. Otherwise you will be back to dissect another conversation. Not good. Communication is paramount for a successful relationship. 

Good luck! I hope this is your person. 

Post # 5
Member
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

It sounds to me like he just felt backed into a corner and kind of half way agreed to whatever you were saying to satisfy you enough that it wouldn’t turn into a more serious conversation/argument.

Sorry bee, but this guy is lukewarm about you at best.  He’s acknowledged that you will now be using the term “boyfriend” but I see no indication from him that he’ll be advertising to anyone that you are now his “girlfriend”.  A guy with a brand new girlfriend he’s crazy about will make it clear to you and everyone else that you are very taken.

I know that every relationship is different but it feels worth mentioning..after the first few weeks of dating my now fiance, he looked me in the eyes and asked me point blank, “Will you be my girlfriend?”  I said yes and we proceeded to make out like love drunk fools.  I’ve dated a lot of people and seen every end of the boyfriend spectrum.  When they are serious about you, you won’t have to wonder.

Post # 6
Member
7148 posts
Busy Beekeeper

It sounds like he is on the same page…he just assumed you were together but didn’t feel the need to bring it up. I would ask him more directly though so there is no doubt.

Post # 7
Member
3859 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

…frankly, it doesn’t sound like you really asked. It sounds like neither of you is even ready to discuss this like adults.

Post # 8
Member
1520 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

From your previous threads I guess you are 25? After six months together I would have thought it would be obvious he is your boyfriend unless you only see each other occassionally or casually? I can’t see your previous thread where you mention the card.

Post # 9
Member
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It sounded like he said contradictory things…first, that you are “just” seeing each other (which I would interpret as non exclusively dating) but then he seemed to agree with you that he was your boyfriend. I don’t blame you for your confusion.

Post # 10
Member
581 posts
Busy bee

Umm…I would push for a more direct, stable answer. If he can’t actually say “yeah of course you’re my girlfriend, we’ve been together six months!” then some kind of convesation needs to happen, assuming that’s what you want.

I don’t feel good about the “we’ve been dating for a while and are only seeing each other” bit. 

Post # 11
Member
7148 posts
Busy Beekeeper

jayrock :  I don’t feel good about the “we’ve been dating for a while and are only seeing each other”bit. 

I took that to mean he thinks they’re exclusively seeing each other as opposed to “merely seeing each other.” But I could be wrong. Agree that it warrants another discussion so there is no ambiguity! 

Post # 12
Member
1707 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

it sounds like he’s pussy footing around the subject and title, why? 

When I asked my current fi at the beginning of our relationship if he wanted to be exclusive, he was elated to call me his Girlfriend and very excited. 

‘im not good with these things’ is a cop out or in my interpretation him saying, ‘im a shitty communicator’. 

Post # 14
Member
581 posts
Busy bee

tiffanybruiser :  oh hmm you’re right didn’t think of it that way…well it’s hard to know without actually being there for the conversation, so yes OP ask for clarification!!

Post # 15
Member
10017 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

The way I’m reading it is he already assumed you were an exclusive couple and was surprised by the question.  I don’t think you have anything to worry about.   A good rule of thumb in life is to be honest and treat people the way you want them to treat you.  Tell him how you feel about him, that you aren’t seeing anyone else, don’t want to, and that you consider him your boyfriend.

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