Asked what we were and confused by response

posted 2 months ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
4822 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

OP- it sounds like he thought you two were already dating exclusively, but I agree with those saying just directly ask the question. The tippy toeing around it is childish and clearly not getting you the answers you’re seeking.

zoraneale :  effective way to make a point! (PS- I hope your baby is doing well and fat and juicy and happy!). When my husband and I first got together (almost 12 years ago), I was cool with the go with the flow thing for a while. After about 6 months, I asked him what we were, in his opinion, and he was on that “I don’t know. Let’s just enjoy ourselves and our time together.” *wink *wink thing and not wanting to answer directly or definitively. So I was like, okay- that means I’m still a free agent. Cool. Not long afterward, I decided to get a body piercing I’d been considering for a long time, and I was telling him about it (after it was a done deal) because I was all excited. He said “Hey! You didn’t talk to me about it when you were thinking about getting this piercing.” and I responded “Let’s be clear, I don’t need your permission about anything I do with my body. Also, though, why would I talk to you? You aren’t my boyfriend. You don’t get to have an opinion or input.” Then sudddenly, he was spluttering “Well, of course I’m your boyfriend!” HA! Okay, dude.

Post # 47
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

I think he was caught off guard because after 6 months of exclusively seeing each other it’s kind of obvious you are girlfriend/boyfriend….

Post # 49
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

my husband and I had this exact experience. we never talked about being exclusive until I finally brought it up, and then we agreed we were together in a Tim Horton’s drivethrough.

I’d say yes he’s your boyfriend.

Post # 50
Member
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

TwilightRarity :  I see we think similarly when a man is ambivalent. Lol. I like what you did there. 

Yes, I am loving my delicious baby over here. She’s a doll. Thank you for checking in!

OP, any updates??? 

Post # 51
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee

papayagirl :  When I read this “Me: When I ran into _______ (student of mine we ran into), she asked if you were my boyfriend. I said yes, but i realized we never talked about it.

Him: I mean, I kind of didn’t think we needed to. I’m just very go with the flow. We were going through all the motions and I’m not good with bringing that stuff up but it seemed like that’s what it was/what we were doing.”

To me, this says he’s not one for bringing things up, you two aren’t seeing other people and act like bf/gf and didnt think a status confirmation was necessary… to him, you are his gf. If you are in fact his gf, you should be able to talk about things without it being uncomfortable. If you’re not sure, just ask for clarification! Just say to him “Our convo the other day wasn’t totally clear to me, are we bf/gf?” To be fair, I didnt realize people still had the “will you be my girlfriend” convos outside of high school. My ex-h just referred to me as his gf on a phone call one day and that was it. My current SO asked me to be his gf a few weeks into dating and I actually really appreciated it. I hate the awkward ‘what are we’ phase and so does he, so he nipped that in the bud. I can see why your bf didnt think a confirmation convo was necessary though.

Post # 52
Member
413 posts
Helper bee

I’d say yes he’s saying he’s your boyfriend. Some people just presume that relationships flow into different stages (I’ve done it) there’s nothing wrong with that it’s just what they do. My now fiancé asked me what we were after our 4th date, I was taken aback and just said “errrrrmmmmmmmm” how awkward haha but believe me I had spent days wondering what we were, if he referred to me as the girlfriend, if he wanted it too. I snapped out my awkwardness though and we made it official. 

I would stop stressing and keep referring him as your boyfriend 😊

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