(Closed) Asking a bridesmaid after she knows she wasn't in the party originally?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Just say that you weren’t sure how many you wanted to have in your wedding but since she has been helping out so much it would mean a lot if she were there on your special day.

Post # 4
Member
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

@Jamergurl921:  That is a really good suggestion. 

I had a Bridesmaid or Best Man pull out so needed to ask another girl, I had actually agonised over not having her originally, but Darling Husband was adament that 3 was plenty. I hated having to ask her cause I didn’t want her to feel like she was an after thought, but she was thrilled and honoured. She was actually the most helpful and easy to work with of the three.

Post # 5
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I dont see anything at all wrong with asking. Just be honest with her and tell her how much you appreciate her being there and supporting you with the wedding, and that you would like her to be by yourside on the special day.

Post # 6
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with the other suggestions.  Tell her that choosing your bridal party was very hard for you, and through the wedding planning process, you have realized that you just can’t imagine getting married without her standing up as one of your bridesmaids.  She’ll be honored!

Post # 7
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Just tell her “I’m so thankful for everything youve been doign that i feel like not having you in my bridal party would be a mistake!!” and tell her you value her friendship and you’re super excited…thats what I did and my girl was ECSTATIC

Post # 8
Member
1796 posts
Buzzing bee

@Jamergurl921:  +1

I agree with the above post as well. As long as you dont say”hey your the alternative on the waiting list” she will be happy to be there. I was wary about my number of BMS a first too, until my Fiance and I sat down and discussed together how many we will have, and my girlfreinds knew that, and are understanding. It was great knowing they understood the stress this day puts on us, and them being at my wedding-period-means alot to me, whether they are walking down the isle with me or not.

Post # 9
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

The fact that she is not in the wedding party and is being extremely helpful already is a sign she would love to be there for you on your special day.

Post # 10
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I was TOTALLY 100% an afterthought as a bridesmaid at a friend’s wedding. We became close after she had determined her bridal party, and I was asked after another Bridesmaid or Best Man had to drop out. Did I care? Not even one bit. I was so thankful to be able to share her day with her, and it brought us so much closer. I would have been just as happy to be a guest at her wedding, but it was such an honor being asked.

Post # 11
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I asked two girls to be bridesmaids after I had initially said I was only going to have my cousin and oldest friend. I was going to have two girls, and Fiance was going to have 3 guys.

I live in Ontario, but we’re getting married in BC. The girls I asked late have been planning/doing everything bridesmaids do – shower, dress shopping with me, etc – but I was trying to be practical and not burden them with asking to travel to the wedding and stand up with me.

But then Fiance asked a fourth guy, and I wasn’t comfortable with me having 2 people and him having 4, so I broke down and was selfish and asked them. I know it was the numbers that lit the fire under my butt to ask them, but I had wanted them to be bridesmaids since the beginning (and if the wedding was in Ontario, I would have asked them first), and am so glad they both agreed. I tried to make clear that they weren’t an afterthought, and I hope they don’t feel that way!

 

Post # 12
Member
17 posts
Newbee

oh dont you worry about that girl, i was asked after the orginal line up, and my friend just told me the reason, which is very similar to yours, but i dont feel anyhow about it at all. i was

a)shocked to even be asked

b)very happy and privilaged that i got asked!

so dont worry about it just be straight with her and that’s it!

xx

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