Post # 1
I had a really hard time deciding who was in the wedding & had 3 girls that were “maybes” that didn’t make the cut. I agonized over the decision for weeks. And I actually have one less bridesmaid than groomsman right now. One of my “maybes” (is it awful to say that?!) has recently really stepped up & been helping out & been amazing. I want to ask her to join the party, but don’t want her to think she was an after thought? Any ideas on how to do this w/out her feeling like she was 2nd choice?!
Post # 3
Just say that you weren’t sure how many you wanted to have in your wedding but since she has been helping out so much it would mean a lot if she were there on your special day.
Post # 4
@Jamergurl921: That is a really good suggestion.
I had a Bridesmaid or Best Man pull out so needed to ask another girl, I had actually agonised over not having her originally, but DH was adament that 3 was plenty. I hated having to ask her cause I didn’t want her to feel like she was an after thought, but she was thrilled and honoured. She was actually the most helpful and easy to work with of the three.
Post # 5
I dont see anything at all wrong with asking. Just be honest with her and tell her how much you appreciate her being there and supporting you with the wedding, and that you would like her to be by yourside on the special day.
Post # 6
I agree with the other suggestions. Tell her that choosing your bridal party was very hard for you, and through the wedding planning process, you have realized that you just can’t imagine getting married without her standing up as one of your bridesmaids. She’ll be honored!
Post # 7
Just tell her “I’m so thankful for everything youve been doign that i feel like not having you in my bridal party would be a mistake!!” and tell her you value her friendship and you’re super excited…thats what I did and my girl was ECSTATIC
Post # 8
I agree with the above post as well. As long as you dont say”hey your the alternative on the waiting list” she will be happy to be there. I was wary about my number of BMS a first too, until my Fiance and I sat down and discussed together how many we will have, and my girlfreinds knew that, and are understanding. It was great knowing they understood the stress this day puts on us, and them being at my wedding-period-means alot to me, whether they are walking down the isle with me or not.
Post # 9
The fact that she is not in the wedding party and is being extremely helpful already is a sign she would love to be there for you on your special day.
Post # 10
I was TOTALLY 100% an afterthought as a bridesmaid at a friend’s wedding. We became close after she had determined her bridal party, and I was asked after another Bridesmaid or Best Man had to drop out. Did I care? Not even one bit. I was so thankful to be able to share her day with her, and it brought us so much closer. I would have been just as happy to be a guest at her wedding, but it was such an honor being asked.
Post # 11
I asked two girls to be bridesmaids after I had initially said I was only going to have my cousin and oldest friend. I was going to have two girls, and Fiance was going to have 3 guys.
I live in Ontario, but we’re getting married in BC. The girls I asked late have been planning/doing everything bridesmaids do – shower, dress shopping with me, etc – but I was trying to be practical and not burden them with asking to travel to the wedding and stand up with me.
But then Fiance asked a fourth guy, and I wasn’t comfortable with me having 2 people and him having 4, so I broke down and was selfish and asked them. I know it was the numbers that lit the fire under my butt to ask them, but I had wanted them to be bridesmaids since the beginning (and if the wedding was in Ontario, I would have asked them first), and am so glad they both agreed. I tried to make clear that they weren’t an afterthought, and I hope they don’t feel that way!
Post # 12
oh dont you worry about that girl, i was asked after the orginal line up, and my friend just told me the reason, which is very similar to yours, but i dont feel anyhow about it at all. i was
a)shocked to even be asked
b)very happy and privilaged that i got asked!
so dont worry about it just be straight with her and that’s it!