(Closed) Asking a friend to be our Day-of-coordinator

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
13290 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Asking her to be a DOC is not an honor, it’s a job and a responsibility.  If you’re trying ot honor her friendship in some way, don’t ask her to work for you the day of your wedding.

I would hire a professional DOC and let your friend enjoy the wedding!

Post # 4
3152 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@vanessa7:  I would be like, WHAT??? if a friend asked me to do this for her. She should be your guest, invited to party and celebrate. She shouldn’t have to worry if the someone’s seat card is missing or if the officiant is late. No no no!

Post # 5
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@abbie017:  This.  DOC is not an honor, it’s a job.  And usually not a very enjoyable one.

Post # 6
1066 posts
Bumble bee

If it is something your friend wants to do, but it is a big task and she may not end up enjoying the day. I am the type of personality who would LOVE that role, and if she is too, then she will love it.

Post # 7
2447 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

That sounds like a terrible idea. Thats definitely not an honor, that’s a job and a tough one at that. Spend the 1K for the coordinator.

Post # 9
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

She could do a reading at the ceremony. A good friend of mine had me do a reading since I couldn’t afford to be a bridesmaid. It was a nice way to be included in the wedding 🙂

Post # 10
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

You mentioned she’s got a great personality – perhaps she’d make a great MC? That would definitely include her yet it’s not a labour intensive role.

Post # 11
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@vanessa7:  I’ve done this for a few close friends and it is NOT an honor – it’s definitely a job.  She will NOT enjoy herself at the wedding and will be working non-stop.

If you want to hire her as your DOC, do that (and compensate her!) or if she volunteers, that’s  another thing – but know she will be running around and will not be a regular guest.  If you are trying to find a role for her because you want to honor her friendship, what about asking her to be your assistant as you get ready and take pictures?  A friend of mine recently did that for her friend – she wasn’t a Bridesmaid or Best Man but she said she felt included because she was with the wedding party and enjoyed time with the rest of the wedding party.

I just noticed that your wedding is December – what about adding her as a BM?

Post # 13
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Either hire a professional DOC or do without. Do not ask your friend. I’d be super pissed if someone asked me to work their wedding (unless I was in the industry and they wanted to hire me).  It’s one thing if she offered, but it doesnt sound like she did…

I’m 99% sure she won’t feel “special” if you ask her to do this.  

Post # 14
9181 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Yeah I had this same question in my mind as the $1000 or whatever to hire someone is not in our budget.  But I couldn’t think of any friend who would want to do this.  I mean, I think a bunch of our friends will help us decorate ahead of time, etc.  But they would all rather have the freedom to go get drunk and have fun rather than worry about all the details all day….

The bridal mags/websites that suggest you ask a friend as an “honor” are just plain wrong on this, unless you have that one super Type-A friend.

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