(Closed) ASKING BMs to STEP-DOWN…HUGE FAILURE (long)

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Sounds like you handled it very nicely.  Maybe their silence is due to embarrassment? 

Post # 4
Member
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Just to clarify: You asked them to step down from your wedding because 2 weeks before the “dress cut-off date” they had still not ordered their dresses?

Post # 5
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

They still had 2 more weeks to order their dresses. Do they live nearby to the designer? Are these dresses super expensive?

Seems like they still had time to get their dresses.

Did you offer to go with them?

Last wedding I was in, the bride flew to each of the BMs home towns to go with them to get the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses.

It was actually really fun.

Post # 6
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think you handled it nicely, but with that said…was it through text or email? If so, not so nice.

They had 2 weeks technically and if you asked them face to face and they sat their in silence they deserve to be removed, however if you sent a text or email and didn’t receive a response back I do not blame them.

Post # 8
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

How did you tell them? In person, over the phone, text?

Post # 11
Member
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think you dealt with that as nicely as possible!

Post # 13
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I had a bridesmaid STEP down via email and I was extremely hurt that I was notified via email – I would be offended if I were one of your (former) bridesmaids that I learned of my demotion via email… just personal opinion… but if you tried calling them, and they didn’t answer you, that doesn’t seem cool on their part either…

Post # 14
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Wow. I’m sure this wasn’t an easy decision for you, but you have to know you may never repair these friendships. I wouldn’t be surprised if you don’t hear from them ever again. I’m not saying what you did was wrong, but there may have been a nicer way to go about it. Like a warning? A quick, “hey, I noticed you didn’t get your dress yet, you’re able to do that this week right, because the deadline is in two weeks. Do you need my help, or can I trust this is handled?”

Post # 15
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

As long as you are OK with these women potentially not being your friend in the future.

If they truly didnt care and didnt want to be in the wedding then they are probably relieved. If they simply were just being lazy or saving money or busy, then you very likely ruined that relationship because in their heads they still had 2 weeks.

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