Post # 1
Hi Bees! We finally settled on a dress for the bridesmaids. We are going for this one from David’s Bridal:
It’s $139, which was on the low end of the dresses we were looking at. Our colors are navy and hot pink, and originally, I had really wanted to do hot pink shoes. When we bought the dress, everyone was super excited about the plan.
As the wedding gets closer, and I start to think about all of the money that my girls have to spend, I feel really bad asking them to buy shoes. I know if I ask them, they will just do it because they want to make me happy and I have tried really hard to not be demanding. Do you think it’s too much to buy shoes on top of that dress? I’m thinking we can find something under $50 at DSW. I know I personally would need to buy shoes for that dress because I pretty much exclusively wear black to formal events and don’t have something that matches, but that could just be me. What do you guys think?
Post # 3
Can you help them with the shoes? Like, have them over for dinner and wine and give them a gift certificate thanking them for being so great. Then you could all go out and look for shoes together!
I’m asking my bridesmaids to travel quite a distance for our wedding, so I’ve bought them the dresses and told them that they can wear whatever shoes they want. However, they selected a dress below budget so now I’m thinking that I’ll just allocate some money towards shoes so that they match for the wedding.
Post # 4
@dcgirl655: I think you should do what you feel like! Honestly, I was dirt poor for one of the weddings I was in (I was in six before my retirement), and although I didn’t WANT to buy shoes that I would never wear again other than for tacky day at the high school where I used to teach, I did it anyway without griping to anyone but my SO (now-FI). Other brides do it so don’t feel bad about it.
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
Do the shoes have to be hot pink? I would have the girls wear neutral shoes they already own (just thinking about the wearability of hot pink shoes after the wedding). You can incorporate the hot pink in their bouquets/decor instead (as I’m sure you are already doing). Otherwise, if they have to be that color I would offer a gift certificate, as one PP suggested, or paying for their shoes yourself.
Post # 6
Thanks for the replies ladies! I like the idea of neutral shoes. The more I think about it, the more I think that probably only one or two of the girls would rewear hot pink ones. Most people would reuse gold though, and I am probably going to get some gold ones for myself as well..
Post # 7
Wow.. I must have been a bad bride. My girls paid for pretty much everything. They bought their own dresses and shoes and they paid for their own hair/makeup (I didn’t demand it be done, I asked what their budget would be if they chose to get it done).
My mother, however, threw my shower. The girls did my bachelorette party. But even as a bridesmaid in the past and as one now, I’d never expect the bride to pay for my shoes.
Post # 8
@Rubbs: I don’t think you were at all! I think I’m learning that it’s all about where people are in life financially – both the bride and the party. I live in a really expensive city, so while I’d LOVE to buy everyone’s dresses, shoes, make up, etc. I just do not have that kind of extra money times five bridesmaids. I’m super impressed by people who do though.
Post # 9
@dcgirl655: Aw, thank you.. Plus my BM’s and I are all grown, working adults. I can see younger brides being able to pay for things since the bills aren’t quite what they are when you get older. My girls ranged from 31 years old to 46 years old, so they all can afford it. I say if someone can’t afford to be in one’s wedding, they simply say they can’t, then it can be up to the bride to determine if she can pay for them or not….
Plus I had just put myself through graduate school…. $41,000!
Yeah I’m very impressed by ladies who pay for all of that…