Post # 1
Did anyone feel awkard about this? Did you pick out the shoe to buy or just tell them what type to pick? I really want my BMs to wear yellow shoes – but I don’t want them to be uncomfortable – as some may prefer flats to heels and vice versa. I also feel bad about the extra expense. Do you think it’s okay to just say “buy a yellow shoe”, or should they all match?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t necessarily say “buy a yellow shoe” but maybe “can you try to find a yellow shoe to wear with the dress?” I have a pair of yellow shoes sitting in my closet, and would happily wear them again, maybe some of your girls have pre-existing shoes?
I wouldn’t designate type of shoe beyond fabric unless you’re having a really formal wedding.
Post # 4
Find a couple of options that match and give them the choice. $-$$$.
Post # 5
depends on the situation – how much money they are spending on dresses, travel, parties, etc. PErsonally I think enforcing shoe rules is a bit much in most cases – if you do require yellow, then i like your idea of letting them pick their own shoe. you could always provide a few options to help them out since yellow isn’t the easiest color to find…or you could do silver for something they might be more likely to wear again…
Post # 6
It’s tough because there are many different shades of yellow. I like the suggestion to find a few different options (heel height, price) and let them pick whichever they like the best.
Post # 7
Thank you for the advice. I sort of want to dismiss the whole thing – as I am trying very hard not to be a difficult bride. I went out of my way to find inexpensive dresses, ordered them, paid the shipping fee – I am also paying for their hair. On the other hand, I LOVE YELLOW SHOES WITH BLUE DRESSES! RAHHHH!
Perhaps I will take the advice and look around for some options and get their input.
Post # 8
Also I will say if the other expenses aren’t that high for them, just go ahead and pick out some shoes. For one wedding I had to buy these ugly pearl colored shoes and I left them at the hotel. At the end of the day I didn’t mind buying them, because it was what my friend wanted (even if they were hideous)!
Post # 9
Shanbrice – that’s very sweet of you! I hope my BMs all feel that way (although I hope the shoes aren;t ugly).
Here’s what I’m talking about:
Post # 10
They could also buy inexpensive white shoes and have them dyed yellow… They can then choose the model they feel most comfortable in.
Post # 11
My dresses are brown and I just told my girls to buy gold strappy sandals. I dont really care what they come out looking like! But if I was a bridesmaid I dont know how I would feel about having to buy another item (in addition to the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress) that I would never wear again!
Post # 12
i had my girls go to DBridal and buy whatever dyable shoes they wanted.
i paid for them to be dyed purple ($3 a piece) so they will all be the same shade purple but the type of shoe they like.
they may not wear them again, but at least they got to wear their style shoes for that day and they cant curse ME for them being uncomfortable 🙂
Post # 13
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I love the idea of dyeable shoes if your girls are on a budget! They sell them at Payless for really great prices!!
Post # 14
I like t he idea of sharing the photo with them and let them know that it’s a look you’d like to recreate. i’d also try to find a few options in different price range.
if i were told to just ‘buy a pair of yellow shoes’, i’d be at a loss of where to start to look!
Post # 15
I gave them some suggestions for colors and asked them what they thought. My bridesmaids are all really easy-going and are cool with whatever I decide (or so they tell me, haha), which has been nice, but I’m still trying not to ask too much of them.Their dresses are green so we decided on silver shoes, and that’s pretty much the only guideline they have. I would feel bad telling them exactly what shoe to buy, and that wouldn’t really work for us anyway. Bridesmaid or Best Man #1 is really into fashion and I want her to be able to pick out whatever shoes she likes (or wear shoes she already owns); Bridesmaid or Best Man #2 doesn’t care either way but could probably find another use for silver shoes, so I want her to pick out her own; Bridesmaid or Best Man #3 never wears dresses or heels and probably won’t wear these shoes again, so I want her to have the option to pick something that’s comfortable and cheap.
If I were you I’d tell them you are thinking about yellow shoes but ask them for their opinion. Yellow shoes come in so many different shades, and there are such a range in formality, so if they like the idea maybe you could find a few different options for them. For what it’s worth, the blue dress/yellow shoe thing is super cute!
Post # 16
Thanks everyone. I agree – the last thing that I want is another thing they have to buy that they don’t want to. I just talked to my Maid/Matron of Honor who is great, and was like oh let’s just do the dyeables! It will be great! I am worried the dyeables will bleed on them if the ground is wet (it’s an outdoor ceremony). She was like, who cares! I was thinking DB but I will check out payless too, so thanks for that suggestion. The other thing I am thinking, since the two out of town BMs haven’t sent me the check for their dress yet – is just to tell them to subtract the price of the shoe. I don’t think I’d miss the money too much, and I would feel better not having put them out about it. What do you guys think of that? Thanks for the input – it’s great to know what everyone else is doing too.