(Closed) Asking carat size…tacky or not??

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 33
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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@Merinda1994:  What would be a financial question that isn’t nosey to you?  Just curious… 

To me – not nosey is: “How much did your ring cost?” or “How much are you spending on your wedding?”

Slightly nosey is: “How much student debt did your Fiance graduate with?”

 

Post # 35
Member
1529 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I find the question along the same lines as “how much money do u make?” 

My answer is always the same “why?” 

 

Post # 37
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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@Merinda1994:  I see your point.. personally I am at a stage where I just don’t really know what I find nosey or not.  I might benefit from finding more questions nosey.  I am such an open-disclosure person (but I wouldn’t volunteer my salary number or my ring cost without being asked first) that I find so many questions non-nosey.  But I should probably start… 

 

Post # 39
Member
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’ve only had one person ask. We have the same finger size and she was looking at rings with her boyfriend. She wanted to know to give her an idea of what would look ok on her hand. I didn’t find it tacky, but I definitely think it depends on who and how the person is asking. 

Post # 40
Member
1632 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

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@beetrothed:  I answer the job question. What he does for a living is really cool and shows off he’s a braniac. I love my intellectual. But the question is posed to me because they are sizing me up and sizing him up. That doesn’t feel good. And the  ring/ job question is 75% of the time followed up  with another question about his  race. So yeah these questions are not very pleasant. Now you assume only a white guy can have that kind of job and afford my ring. It’s rude. Plain and simple.

Post # 41
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I don’t really get offended mostly because usually they are asking because I have tiny fingers lol 

Post # 42
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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@CurlyCue:  Oh yikes, it devolves into a question about race?  Yeah, I agree, that’s tacky.  

Post # 45
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@CurlyCue:  Whoa, people are actually rude enought to ASK that?? WOW. That is not cool

Post # 46
Member
7694 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

It is a rude and very forward question. Some people like to talk about it, and when someone shows me a new engagement ring and it seems like they want to talk about it, I generally reply with, “That’s beautiful! Tell me about it.” Sometimes they will talk about the proposal, sometimes the ring; but the question leaves it open to whatever they want to talk about.

With mine, I am rarely asked, but that’s simply because most of the people I know would NEVER ask a question like that. I’ve had several younger women exclaim, “How big is it?” but they sounded more excited than judgey. I don’t think they meant to be rude; it was just the first question that came to their mind.

And not to get too philosphical, but social media has really encouraged people to be far too open about everything. Things that used to be tabboo to talk about are openly discussed now, and many people have zero expectation of privacy. I think a lot of people genuinely don’t know that some subjects are considered rude or that there are certain things that really shouldn’t be asked (or told).

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