(Closed) Asking Dad’s Permission…..did you tell him to?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

Does he know your sisters bf did?  If not I would somehow work it into the conversation about how sweet it was, etc etc.  Maybe it will be on something your watching.  For all you know, he may have asked already.

I don’t have a great relationship with my father but Fiance did ask my mother (i had no clue).  I know she really appreciated it.

 

Post # 4
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I mentioned to him, prior to the engagement, that I’d like it, and I knew my dad would, if he did..but he never ended up asking! But its ok, my parents (and I) love him all the same =)

Post # 6
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

My Husband asked on his own – i think my dad really appreciated it. but thats a really tough situation..its like you want to give him the chance before speaking up but guys dont read minds either. id try to slip in into conversations somewhere, or if you are wathing some wedding themed show or movie say hmm i wonder if he asked her dad before proposing..

 

Post # 7
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Well, I never talked about it at all, but I’m not close to my dad so my Fiance probably knew I WOULDN’T want him to ask. Same reason my dad’s not walking me up the aisle- I just don’t want to be “given away” by someone who I have a poor relationship with.

Does your bf know your family is traditional? Are you close to your dad? Those cues could be good enough but a lot of guys wouldn’t think to ask the dad. So you might have to leave some sort of subtle hint for him. The dad’s phone number by the ring box is probably okay πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My Fiance knows I’m really close with my entire family, so he asked both my parents as well as my sister, all together when I was out one day.

I had mentioned to him that I could never marry anyone my parents didn’t like or approve of, and so he knew it would mean alot to me that he asked (plus he needed their help with the proposal!).

Mention that your sister’s Darling Husband asked, and that you know it meant a lot to your dad….he’ll connect the dots. I also think most guys know anyway, so my guess would be he’s planning to do it regardless.

Post # 9
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My dad would have been disappointed had Fiance not asked permission.  So would I.  When I mentioned to Fiance about asking permission he basically said, “what? I have to do that?” He was the first of his friends to get engaged.

So after Fiance took me to look at rings one day  I knew it getting close.  So I reminded him about talking to my dad, and pretty much told him how he should do it (as in where, not what to say). He was very nervous as he and my dad don’t have much in common.

He did it exactly how I suggested, and my dad was thrilled πŸ™‚

Maybe you can bring it up by talking about how each of your parents did it and sneak it in there somewhere πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oops- double post

Post # 11
Member
3963 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Every guy is different I think.  I just hinted that’s what I wanted.  When talking about getting married I would say things like yeah but you need my Dad’s permission first.  If that makes sense. Like, sneaking it into the conversation.

Post # 12
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I mentioned to him in a joking way that he had to ask my Dad for my hand when we were talking about rings and the proposal thing came up. In the end, he put off proposing until we went home to visit so he could do just that. He did, we did and we are. If he knows that you know he has a ring, maybe just a lighthearted hint?

Post # 14
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

I mentioned that I would want him to ask my parent’s for my hand in marriage.  He later told me that he planned on asking them anyways.  It’s just an etiquette thing nowadays, unless you’re in an arranged marriage (which I’m not).

Post # 15
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We talked about it, but I didn’t tell him he had to. I am a daddys girl though and besides Fiance, my dad is the most important man in my life. So Fiance did it out of respect for me and my dad and I am SO glad he did! It meant the world to me. πŸ™‚

 

And of course my dad said yes. He loves Fiance.

Post # 16
Member
5668 posts
Bee Keeper

I asked my Fiance not to ask my dad. It’s our decision to get married, not my dad’s.

If you want him to do it, you can always bring it up casually. Like if there’s a commercial for a wedding show use it as an excuse to say something like “I’d want my dad’s blessing before we’re engaged.” If he looks at you like you have three heads you could just say the wedding commerical made you think about it.

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