Asking entire wedding party to step down?

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

If they’re going to be there anyways, why ask them to step down? 

Post # 3
843 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We had only make of honor and best man. Made it much easier.

Trickier for you since you already asked them. But I think you should still do it. I don’t believe in this big divide between people included in the wedding (the wedding party) versus mere guests. At a small wedding you can find says to make everyone feel special.

The bigger problem is the cruise. It is asking a lot for 40 people to go on a cruise with you. No, don’t try to pay part of their expenses.

And don’t forget the possibility of being seasick, which is how I felt for three days on a cruise ship.

Could you have a small wedding on land right before taking off on a fabulous cruise honeymoon?

Post # 4
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

I think you should leave it be. If they are there you may as well have them already just do their roles assigned. It only really makes sense if they will not be there or if they messed up and you do not want them as wedding party anymore. 

Good luck


Post # 5
315 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

For my wedding we were going to have 6 attendants, but then decided to move the date up and get rid of all of the attendants, except for my daughter.  I just told my friends “Hey, we’ve moved the wedding to January 1st, this is the venue, can you make it?  We aren’t having any attendants.”  And that was that.  Everyone was fine with it, relieved, even, to not have to have dresses, etc.

Post # 6
2944 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

No, it is not a backhanded move. Your wedding plans have drastically changed, and it makes a lot of sense to cut down the bridal party especially if the ceremony site is limited in space at the front or whatever. I

It is not necessary to pay for their cruise tickets. However, if anyone has already spent money on something you and the groom asked for (e.g. bridesmaid’s dress, specific shoes, etc) then maybe offer to pay for anything non-refundable.

Post # 7
2617 posts
Sugar bee

What’s the reasoning for asking them to step down? Personally I’d still want to honour them, I’d just adjust the roles a bit to suit the smaller ceremony. 

If you’re worried about having too many people standing up with you, they can just take a seat at the front after walking down the aisle. My sister did that at her wedding because her wedding party was pretty huge (plus it was an anglican ceremony and they always do that I think). 

They don’t have to wear matching outfits either. You can just ask them to choose their own dresses within a colour range, or they don’t have to match at all.

(I don’t think they’ll mind if you do ask them to step down though since the plans have changed so much.)

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