(Closed) Asking for a fathers blessing…

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I would say that her dad would really respect you if you asked him for his blessing before proposing…  And I am a traditional young lady.

My dad really appreciated it when my hubby asked him.

 

Congrats!!!  

Post # 4
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

You are suppose to ask prior to the proposal hence wanting the blessing (aka permission, who cares what you call it really) My Fiance asked my father and I thought is was so super sweet.  My father appreciated this gesture so much, actually mentioning that my sisters now husband never did that and it always bothered him.

My fiance asked my father to meet him for breakfast one morning and asked his permission then. 3 days later we were engaged with my father’s blessing ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 4
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@bobbyG: Ask the father first. My fiance called my dad the morning before he proposed. He had to sneak my phone from me to find my dad’s cell number so he could call. My dad is originally from the south and love it.

If you think both she and her father would appreciate it, ask his blessing first. If you think they’ll give it away (like my Fiance thought my parent’s would) ask him the same day you plan to propose so they don’t have time to spill the beans.

As long as it is something she wants too, I’d call this chivalry not chauvinism.

Post # 5
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I always thought you were supposed to ask the father first (or have him give his blessing)  i would have loved if my husband had done this (call me old fashioned, but i like the ideal of it) but we didn’t meet each other parents until after we were married

Post # 6
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ask the father first.

My fiance took my Dad and my Mom out to a nice dinner and asked them there. It sounds like you have a great relationship with him, I’m sure he’d appreciate some one on one time with you!

I think it’s very classy to ask the Dad first. Besides, it gives you two something to bond over.

Good luck and congrats!!

Post # 7
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

LIke all the PP’s said you should ask the Father first. My Fiance called my Dad and asked him about a week before hand, my Dad’s reposnse – About time! I know he really apperciated Fiance asking him because I’m not only really close to my Dad but an only child too…

Post # 8
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@bobbyG: as PP mentioned already, ask first then propose ๐Ÿ™‚

My Darling Husband asked my both my parents before he proposed (well they were all in the car together *laugh*) My father really appreciated it and i think it was super sweet for him to do it. (I actually think Darling Husband was more nervous about asking them then me!! (even though my parents gave him their blessing ten fold))

 

Good luck and congrats!! 

Post # 9
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

My Fiance spoke with my Dad, in person, a few months before (but once he had the ring) that he intended to propose. It was really sweet and meant a lot to both me and my Dad. 

Post # 10
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

As everyone else has said – ask first then propose! 

Since we don’t live near my parents, my Fiance wrote them letters instead.  They loved it and my dad was very impressed!

Post # 11
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Fiance asked for my Dad’s blessing before proposing.  When I found out afterward, I cried and thought it was the sweetest thing.  If you’re traditional Midwestern folks (like us!) I’d definitely recommend it.  It meant a lot to me (and him).

Post # 12
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Agreed with the PP’s- ask FIRST, then propose. Darling Husband asked both my parents, who like your parents, are traditional. They were not at all happy when my BIL didn’t ask for their blessing before proposing to my sister. It wasn’t like they weren’t going to give it (they dated for 7 years!), but they felt it was a respect issue. Their feelings were hurt over this and it is something they’ve brought up a few times over the years. Since your FIL’s are traditional too, I think you are starting things out on the right foot with them. Like you said, it’s not a women=property issue, it’s just a nice thing to do for people who value this tradition.

Good luck and congratulations to you and your fiance-to-be! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee

My husband asked my father first (without me knowing) and my dad let me know recently how much it meant to him. He actually asked him twice… the first time my dad said no, that he thought we were too young and that we needed to make sure we could live with each other without killing one another! So he waited another year and asked again and my dad said okay, because he saw that we could live together.

I would take him out to dinner and ask.. it may be an outdated tradition to some, but a lot of dads think it’s really important.

Post # 14
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Fiance asked my father when they went to go play tennis together and we were engaged just a few days later. My father really appreciated it. 

Post # 15
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

My Fiance asked my mom, as well as my grandparents and a very close family friend who’s supported us like a dad would. They were honored to be in on the surprise and so excited.  It doesn’t need to be a request for a blessing or permission, I think he did a more ‘thank you for raising NDBee, she means the world to me …lalalala.’ I think it’s respectful if that’s the tradition your families follow and it will be much appreciated. 

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