Post # 16

Member
5 posts
Newbee
Thank you all for the immediate and wise replies! Since they are 2 hours away perhaps it will be difficult to get it done in the next week and a half now 🙁 I really am a face-to-face type of guy, and feel like thats the way to go. I know a few mentioned their fiance calling the father and asking, is this acceptable? I can’t decide if I should do that, or if I should try and figure out a way to get back down there soon…
Post # 17

Member
8734 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@bobbyG: My parents live on the other side of the country from Fiance and I and we only see them 2 or 3 times a year.
He wanted to wait until he had the ring to ask and we weren’t going to see them again until Thanksgiving (he proposed over Labor Day weekend). We had just spent time with them in early August.
It’s the gesture that is really important, seeing as they aren’t “right around the corner” I’m sure a phone call would be received well. But if you really feel it needs to be done face to face, then do it face to face.
Good luck!
Post # 18

Member
3575 posts
Sugar bee
I agree with asking her father first. I love tradition!
Post # 19

Member
2634 posts
Sugar bee
My DH asked my dad and everyone (Dad, me, family, DH) was so glad he did it! It really gave them a good chance to talk/bond! As a side note…I would never think this practice is chauvinistic at all! When I had gotten engaged, I had been out on my own or 10 years, 100% independt from my parents…like you said, you are asking for a blessing, not a permission! Good for you for doing this! I know of a lot of guys that wanted to do this, but didn’t have the nerve to.
Post # 20

Member
5117 posts
Bee Keeper
@bobbyG: Could you maybe call Future Father-In-Law and ask to meet mid way (an hour each) for dinner *on you if you can swing it* and have the face to face then? Phone calls work, but as you’re a face to face guy, that might be a situation you can line up. Or, use Skype 🙂 If they don’t have it, you can easily walk them through the download and then you can at least see faces while you’re visiting about the big plans!
Post # 21

Member
501 posts
Busy bee
i say CALL! (if you can’t get back down there before the planned proposal). you would hate to make your Girlfriend wait longer just because you wanted to ask her dad in person. so yeah, see if you can make the drive, but if not, I say go for it on the phone!
Post # 23

Member
13 posts
Newbee
I want to ask my girlfrend’s parents for their blessing as the OP of this thread did.
I feel like I need to include both parents to be truly respectful. Part of this has to do with the father really being a step-dad (I don’t mean that he’s not a real dad or anything like that, but i would feel guilty leaving the mother out of the equation)
IF Hurricane Sandy doesn’t knock out their power or cause major problems where they live, I want to do this on Nov 5th. That is week before the planned proposal (IF hurrican sandy does not cause shipping issues with the ring)
Do any Bees find that their mothers could definitely not keep this secret for a week? They talk on the phone a couple times a week, and I am starting to get intensely paranoid that mom will “ruin” the surprise. I might be sweating small stuff, but I only get one chance in my life to do this.
Post # 24

Member
1709 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
@gswelec: My Fiance talked to my mom beforehand and I had no clue. He also tried to talk to my dad but there is a bit of drama in our relationships and he couldn’t get a hold of him before the proposal. My sisters also knew and everyone had their lips zipped! 🙂