(Closed) Asking for honeymoon $$ instead of gifts for wedding….

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Its not rude! What you could do is a wishing well (http://mag.weddingcentral.com.au/weddings/wishing_wells/index.htm) They have poems you can include in you invitations that sound nicer. I think alot of people give money now instead of gifts. I’ve been to several weddings where is says right in the invitation “money, no gifts please” and no one seemed it was rude. I also let my parents know, so if family asks them for ideas, they can tell them cash if prefered.

Another idea is setting up an account for a honeymoon that people can donate too.

Post # 4
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Everyone has different comfort levels with this. I personally could never do this. A honeymoon isnt something the guests should pay for. In the same way that you cant ask the guests to contribute towards the cost of the wedding, although I have seen a few people do that lately.

Post # 5
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I created a small registry, and told my bridesmaids and family that we would prefer money because we don’t really need anything. I just let it take its course from there. Some people bought us gifts, and some gave money. 

Post # 6
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Personally, I cannot wrap my head around the viewpoint of honeyfunds being rude.  I don’t understand the difference between asking guests to buy us dishes/a vacuum/a KitchenAid mixer/etc., and asking guests to contribute towards a trip we’d love and remember forever.

If someone thought that ALL registries were rude, since you’re basically telling guests what to buy you, THAT I could understand.  I disagree, but I understand it.  But a registry is a registry, and if you’d rather have an awesome trip than household items you don’t need, I think a honeymoon registry makes perfect sense.  And as a guest at a wedding, I’d rather my hard-earned money go towards what the couple really wants, whether that’s a honeymoon or champagne flutes.

Post # 7
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

A lot of what we *really* need are larger items, like furniture, since we’re just starting out, so we have a regular registry and a honeyfund for people to chip in on actual furniture (instead of a honeymoon).  Haven’t heard anything negative about it so far!

Post # 9
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’ve heard of honeyfund.  I think it’s a great idea.  The only thing I don’t like is how they take minimum 7% of the money your guests give you for hosting a registry with them.

Post # 10
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

A lot of the sites do charge a percentage – we went with honeyfund because gifters can still give you cash or checks with a printed “certificate” from the site (no percentage taken by honeyfund) or you can get your gifts through Paypal if they want to use a credit card (in which case you only deal with Paypal’s 3% fee).


It “pays” to research the hidden fees, though!

Post # 11
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Ashley_B: I would be horrified if I received a “poem” asking for money in the invitation or any mention of any gifts whatsoever. I am cringing reading these poems!!

@ananeele: I wouldn’t register on a website that takes a percentage of the money that the guests give. I think it’s better to spread the info that you want money by word of mouth as you would spread the info of your registries. That way, you can choose to put it towards your honeymoon without having to go through a site that takes a percentage.

Post # 12
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Etiquette changes over time, but very slowly. I am of the thought that it is always rude to ask for gifts whether that is physical gifts or money. Wedding gifts were always intended to help the newlyweds set up their home, not finance the wedding or the honeymoon. Many newlyweds today have already established their own home and don’t need things. That doesn’t automatically make it polite to ask for money instead.

If you don’t want gifts- toasters, mixers, linens etc, then don’t register. People will ask you or your family and you or they can just say that you have not registered anywhere. They will either get you a gift of their choice or send you a cheque.

Post # 13
1434 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I’ve been to at least 2 weddings that I can remember that have had honeymoon $$ requests rather than gifts….I don’t remember how they worded it on their cards though. I NEVER found it offensive/weird at all.

In our wedding, we didn’t have a registry because we wanted to VERY stubtley hint that we wanted money and it must of work because we got 80% checks and a few gifts (which we exchanged for things we actually needed).

Post # 14
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It is rude to ask for money and that is what a Honeymoon registry is. People aren’t actually buying you a night in the hotel or a massage- you are getting cash. Tacky and I would side eye and not contribute to one if any of my friends had them. 

Post # 15
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012 - Catholic Church, Chateau Thomas Winery

I really like the idea! If a friend set one up, I would rather give them an awesome experience instead of towels. My family is just getting around to understanding regular registries though and we didn’t want to confuse or offend anyone any more. 

Post # 16
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

@Ms Bookworm: agreed.

I think wedding gifts are intended to help the newly weds in their new life. Not specific to houseware. Fiance and I already have everything for our apartment. And I mean everything. We are a military couple, so registering for a bunch of stuff that we have to carry from place to place is not the best idea for us. We set up a honeymoon registry.. but its like.. not donating money.. its a dinner here.. a couples massage.. a cruise.. etc etc.. so guests actually feel like they are buying an event instead of a toaster. 

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