Post # 1
I’m probably going to get beat up for this and honest, I’m not trying to pick on anyone but there have been a few posts recently about women speficially ASKING their BF’s for HUGE (1.5 to 2 carat) engagement rings. Am I the only one kind of well…stunned by this?
I mean, I can understand telling your bf, if asked, what kind of ring in general that you like as in white gold vs. yellow, the kind of cut (round, cushion, princess, etc.) and that sort of thing but to ASK for some huge rock seems to take a hell of a lot of chutzpuh don’t you think? It seems a LOT of women have this notion that their ring HAS to be at LEAST a carat. Its pretty much asking your guy to spend a boatload of cash on you rather than letting HIM set the budget.
What do you think bees? Did you let it be known that you had expectations regarding the size of the stone? Do you feel like its even appropriate to discuss?
Post # 3
If a woman asks for a huge (expensive) rock, the man knows exactly what kind of woman he’s considering marrying.
Post # 4
No, I don’t think it is appropriate to discuss. He picked out a ring that was best for him at the time and definitely with you in mind. You should be happy with whatever he picked. The ring should be a symbol of love. The bigger rock doesn’t mean he loves you more. I wish more women are considerate of this.
Post # 5
Quick aside – when my now husband and I went looking for rings I asked one of the lady’s helping us if she had any Bridezilla stories and she told me about one couple who came in and the girl told her guy that she wanted a THREE carat diamond. When he said he didn’t know if he could afford that she just tossed off with “I’m worth it.” Can you imagine? That poor guy should run for the hills!
Post # 7
All I have to say to this is what my dad told me when I was little: “Asking aint getting.”
Post # 8
- Wedding: May 2010 - Philippe Park
I don’t think it’s innapropriate. Some women like big stones, some women are more comfortable with smaller rings.
A woman who wanted a smaller ring might feel uncomfortable if her diamond was too big for her tastes, just as a woman who wanted a larger ring might feel uncomfortable with a ring that was much smaller than she had hoped for. Communication is key in a relationship, with rings and everything else.
Look at it this way: the woman wears the ring everyday for the rest of her life, not the man. Therefore, she should get a ring that she loves, and the man (in my opinion) should be happy to accomodate that, considering this is the woman he chooses to spend the rest of his life with.
I’m not going to lie, I told Mr. Rainbow that I wanted a ring between 1.5 and 2 carats. That’s what I like, and he was okay with it. Did it take him a little longer to save up for it? Sure. But he was willing to, because he wanted to get me something that I would love.
The ring he bought me is 2 carats (total weight). I wouldn’t change it for the world, and he absolutely loves it. Everytime he looks at my finger he says “Damn, I did a good job”.
Indeed he did!
Post # 9
@CorgiTales: LOL! So true…so true.
I mean, to each their own. You wanna marry Ms. “I need my 2.5 carats”? Have at it.
Post # 10
I let my Fiance know that I wanted something over 1.5 Cts. I have a relatively large finger and I work in an industry where its pretty standard. I knew he could afford it and he didn’t take offense. For us it wasn’t a problem but if he had been unemployed and I had brought it up it would not have been appropriate. He wants an expensive watch for the wedding day and I’m ok with him telling me exactly what he wants even if its extravagant.
Post # 11
I guess I was a little more involved in the process than a lot of brides and while I never said I want my diamond to be x number of carats, we did discuss all the four c’s together including the size of the diamond as well.
Post # 12
I knew a girl once who told her boyfriend after my now husband and I got engaged – that if her ring wasn’t at least 3 carats, it goes in the ears (i.e. earings). Now, my ring is pretty big, just over 2 carats for my engagement ring – but my husband and I were so offended that she made the comment in front of us! It was a bit of a put down. The sad part was that my friend (her boyfriend) totally bought into her logic as he was whipped!
I did tell Darling Husband that my ring needed to be better than his ex-wifes ring. Especially as he always commented on how great her ring was when they were married!
Post # 13
I think that it really depends on what kind of situtuation you are in. If your SO asks you for detailed input on your ring and/or what your dream ring would be and you have an open relationship and are honest, then you give an honest answer.
Not only that but depending on how well off your SO is, the kinds of presents you normally exchange etc, a larger ring may be “the norm” within that situation or his family.
There is certainly a difference between discussing your preferences and demanding a large ring. That is where the line is drawn, demanding a certain size goes too far. That being said, is it right to demand anything about an engagement ring?
Post # 14
- Wedding: May 2010 - Philippe Park
@Everdeen: I don’t think demanding anything works in a relationship…
Post # 15
Yeah I guess the difference is “demanding”, I wasn’t going to stamp my feet in a jewelry store if I got 1.47 carats. I just don’t see the difference between asking for a certain carat size and asking for an eternity band or a halo setting or platinum. All those things are more expensive.
Post # 16
Err…..I asked (nicely) for my large ring set.
He let me pick out “whatever” i wanted. It doesn’t make me some gold digger, though–he could easily afford it after being deployed for 15 months. Plus, I love me some diamonds (okay, jewelry in general) and I make a nice salary myself, so it’s not like I was over reaching there.
He picked out a 1 carat stone and I picked out a 1.25 carat setting and 1.5 carats in wedding bands. Some people would say it’s huge.
If he couldn’t have afforded it, that would’ve been one thing. He was 100% comfortable with the price.