(Closed) ASKING for Huge Ring? Really?

posted 10 years ago in Rings
Post # 92
Member
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Philippe Park

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@Aumuller: Hmm, something to think about. Maybe that’s why I was so comfortable mentioning my desire for a larger ring, because we share a bank account and I know exactly what are financial situation is.

I can agree that it’s not okay for a woman to expect her man to go in debt and buy her a ring that he really can’t afford because it’s just “what she wants” and it’s certainly not okay to “demand” a certain size ring.

Other than that, I think the only “ring” issue would simply be if the couple aren’t on the same page. If they are, who really cares how they make their decision or what size ring they buy? Certainly not me!

Post # 93
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011
Post # 94
Member
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

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@lisa105: So because my husband asked me my opinion on my ring, and I let him know what I preferred, that makes me immature? Personally, I think it makes the relationship very mature since we can talk about things and have open communication about what our plans are for our future. Why am I immature for giving him my honest answer?

Not offended…so please don’t think I am, but just showing that this doesn’t apply in all cases.

Post # 95
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@lisa105:

Not to offend anyone? I’m sorry but, whats this about the “me” generation. You are being very rude at this point. I don’t think I grow up in a ‘me” generation. I think every generation has its selfish, selfless, debaters, mean, nice, kind sort of people. Get over yourself. You did not ask for a certain size diamond. Bravo. Good on you. I suppose you are better than the rest of us that had.

Post # 96
Member
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

There is a big difference in asking for something within reason and asking for something unreasonable.

Which is it OP? You are starting to confuse everybody by being unclear and insulting 

 

Post # 97
Member
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Philippe Park

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@lisa105: I would disagree. I think being able to have an open, honest conversation about your mutual ring preferences shows a distinct sense of maturity, but we can agree to disagree. I just believe that an open line of communication is important in all aspects of a relationship.

Also, I have no idea where the issue of “class” comes into this argument, it’s actually quite rude and uncalled for. However, I applaud your attempt at insulting those who are obviously in a different generation than yourself (the “me” generation, as you stated, yes?).

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@LGenz: Could not have said it better myself.

Post # 99
Member
2738 posts
Sugar bee

Uh, okay, those of you that are bringing age into this. I am in my 30’s please. I guess that makes me ‘older’ but I don’t think age has anything to do with this. Just saying.

Post # 100
Member
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Philippe Park

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@lisa105: No one said you were of an “advanced” age, I was asking a question because I wanted to know if this was a generational difference, that’s all. It was you who decided to get offended by my question, which, might I add, was not stated in a rude way. I was just honestly curious.

Also, if you didn’t want to be offensive, you would have said “younger” as opposed to “immature”. Younger is the opposite of older. You can be young and wise or old and immature. The two are not mutually exclusive.

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@bRooklynRocks: LOL, 30 is not old. I’m wondering more if people closer to the late 40s-50s range mostly share this same view. Not that they’re old, but there’s just a bigger generational gap.

Post # 101
Member
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

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@rainbow: Nah. I’m in my 50’s and I actually told my daughters to get the biggest stone he/they could afford. 🙂 When life gets in the way and all your disposable income goes to raising your kids , it may be a LONG time before anything gets replaced or upgraded. Get it while you can! lol

Post # 102
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I would love to know how many women who say “I won’t accept a ring smaller than X carats” have turned down a proposal from their beloved because of a smaller ring.   

Because if you are going to turn down a propposal from the man you love/adore because the diamond is smaller than what you wanted, you better rethink WHY you’re getting married. 

I thought you were marrying the man and not the ring?

Post # 103
Member
7298 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@CorgiTales: Agreed. FTW

Post # 104
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

This is obviously a touchy subject but here are my thoughts. My boyfriend is currently in a top business school and is going to end up making a lot of money. Obviously that is not why I want to marry him, it is just a statement of fact. I don’t know if it makes me rude to expect a ring comparable to his salary or not. I don’t think that it does. I know he will spend plenty of money on a nice car or fun things for himself (and he should!) but I also personally would feel like he didn’t care that much about me if I got a diamond that was less than a certain carat size. If he can spend that much on a car or something else, why can’t he spend a decent amount on my ring?

That being said, he and I have kind of talked about this whole thing. What I have said to him is that I would like whatever he is able to afford. However, I have told him to consider the fact that I do not want to upgrade in the future (personal decision, not saying anyone who plans to do this is wrong or whatever!) because I want to keep the ring that I am proposed to with forever. I know I am going to catch some crap for this but I told him to think about what he would want me to have 10 or 20 years down the road when he is very successful and to consider buying something nice now. He actually agreed on this even though he thinks it’s ridiculous to spend a ton on a wedding.

Post # 105
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

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@mc77:  I had the same feelings regarding upgrading in the future. I want to wear the diamond my Fiance proposed with for the rest of my life.

I think we’re confusing situations here. The kind of woman who communicates to her fiance a certain carat size is NOT automatically the kind of woman who rejects a proposal because the diamond is too small. My Fiance and I discussed diamond size before we started ring shopping. We both agreed on a size WE were comfortable with. If our financial situation suddenly changed and my Fiance could no longer afford to get me the 1.5 carat ring I wanted, I wouldn’t have rejected his proposal! I would have said yes to a piece of string if it means I get to spend the rest of my life with my Fiance.

 

Post # 106
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Seriously; what is the point of this thread? This isn’t a poster asking for advice or asking for opinions anymore. This is a poster who apparently started a thread just to argue her opinion and not consider anyone else’s. Yes everyone can agree there is a point of disrespect when you request something that is not feasable. But if you can afford it; have wha tyou want.

My conclusion on Ring Carat & Requesting it or not requesting it is: WHO CARES! It’s a dang ring. WooHoo. Every person is different and ever relationships communication is different. Live & Let Live.

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