(Closed) ASKING for Huge Ring? Really?

posted 10 years ago in Rings
Post # 122
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well, for all those who are asking, there is your example of someone who does in fact think that they might say no if the ring wasn’t what they wanted.

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@cutexkitty: Can’t even formulate something to say.

Post # 123
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@lisa105: I think your post is a little ballsy. You don’t know what kind of money everyone on here is making. Every persons situation is different. If u/ur fiance is making a lot of money, and the size of the ring matters alot to you, then you should absolutely say something about it. You’re only looking at thsi from the guys perspective- but an engagement is from both ends, and we are the ones that have to wear the ring for the rest of our lives. I think when talking about the ring, the two of you should discuss what the budget is, and decide on what size can fit in that budget. But i think this is very personal and you cant put a blanket statement on soemthing like ring size. my fiance and i talk about anything and everything and while i didnt demand the ring be a certain size, i did show him rings that I liked. so he knew what size i wanted.

Post # 124
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@hilsy85:

i complete agree. I think Lisa may feel awkward asking her boyfriend about size, but that doesnt mean that everyone else does. and again, we all have different finances, and we all have different levels of communication

Post # 125
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@hilsy85:

i complete agree. I think Lisa may feel awkward asking her boyfriend about size, but that doesnt mean that everyone else does. and again, we all have different finances, and we all have different levels of communication

Post # 126
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@LGenz:

amen.

Post # 127
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@Cash000:

nah it doesnt make her better. i think she is just pissed off that she didnt get the ring she wanted, and shes trying to justify it by trying to make other people feel bad. not workin here. i  love my ring hehe

Post # 129
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@JamaicaBride:

agreed. I think the post should be titled “DEMANDING a huge ring” not “Asking” because OP has changed her tone about it since the first post

Post # 131
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You don’t know what kind of money everyone on here is making.”

“I really don’t think it matters what kind of money someone is making, I think its hella ballsy to ask that your Fiance spend a certain amount for a certain size ring because you’ve decided you have to have a big, expensive ring.  Sure, an engagement is about two people but he’s the one shelling out for the ring so why should “they” set the budget?  Its HIS money, he should be the one deciding what to spend. “

Once AGAIN you are making assumptions based on YOUR experienc, and not taking into account other peoples. My fiance has an amazing jon in finance making big bucks, I make a decent salary as well. We are both very conservative with our money because we are saving, and hoping to move out of the city one day. HOWEVER- the ring is something we both felt we could splurge on since I will be wearing it forever. WE (yes WE because our fincanes are joined) had the money for a larger ring. (your opinion of small and large is also NOT THE SAME as everyone elses) Once again- I never said I demanded anything. He asked me what rings I liked- and I showed him. Am i going to pick a small ring when he can afford WAY more? No, because I liked the look of something larger. Does this mean I would have been upset if he got a small ring and never had asked my opinion? Absolutely not. But we have a relationship where we talk about everything, so this was a topic of conversation for us. I dont think this makes me a bad person thats I wanted a larger ring since the two of us could afford it. You are basing your opinion on your own financial circumstances- as well as how YOU two communicate. We are not all the same. I dont appreciate that you are making such blanket statements.

 

“and the size of the ring matters alot to you”

“But why should the size matter so much or be the most important thing?”

When in gods name did I say that it was the most importan thing? I said if the size matters, and you have the money, it is YOUR choice as a couple whether you want to spend your money on a larger ring.

Post # 132
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

” think asking for a big ring or for a certain price range to be spent on you isn’t that far from demanding.”

So then maybe you shouldnt ask for a ring at all then. rings cost money- whether it is big or small.  Because of this, they cost different amounts of money. If we all have different incomes, we are going to end up with different sized rings. Theres nothign wrong with talking to your boyfriend/fiance about what you like.

Post # 133
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling him what you like…but when it comes down to it, it is what the ring symbolizes. And every woman should be grateful someone put a ring on their finger!

My husband couldn’t afford a huge ring or anything for me when he asked me to marry him…but I was only 17 and still in high school so it was okay. I LOVED my ring though. It is so sparkly and I get comments on it all the time. And it isn’t super tiny or anything. It fits me perfectly.

But he always talked about how he wanted to upgrade it eventually (it’s a three stone, with three smaller diamonds on each side) because he felt he shortchanged me. I disagreed, but told him that was fine. When we went to shop for wedding rings, he had the lady pull out a much larger version of my ring, and he said this is what I wanted to get you. He asked if I liked it and I told him of course, but he didn’t have to get it. But he wanted to. So he put it on layaway right then and I get it for christmas this year 🙂

It’s a nice set of rocks, but he didn’t go into debt over it. Some women have rings that are much smaller carats than it is, and they cost thousands of dollars more. So it just depends on the ring. A woman with a 2.5 carat ring could have spent less on it than a woman with say, 1 carat.

My husbands friend bought his fiance a 1 carat plain band solitare that cost $4,000 more than 2.5 carat rings I looked at in a store we were in.

So just because it’s a bigger rock doesn’t mean it costs so much more! It depends on where you get it, and lots of other factors! 🙂

Post # 134
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

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@lisa105: So you are saying that if your BF ASKED you what type of ring you wanted, you would tell him something smaller or less expensive even if that isn’t what you wanted? That makes no sense to me…if he wants to know what you want…why not tell him the truth?

 

Post # 135
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@JamaicaBride:

the more i read her posts, the more i suspect that this is a case of sour grapes.

Post # 136
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

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@JamaicaBride: Thank you for saying this! I’ve been reading along all afternoon and couldn’t figure out how to ask this question of the OP

 

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