(Closed) asking for monetary gifts only.

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
5592 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@radar:  There shouldn’t be any mention of gifts at all on an invitation.  I’ve personally never received one that did.

I would just register for very few things, and spread that you’re hoping for mostly monetary gifts by word of mouth.

Post # 5
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Well, you should not include anything about gifts or registries on your invitations, first of all. You can include the wedding website and have the information on it. You could just give a short little explanation like here – while you appreciate gifts, since your wedding is not where you live and you will soon be moving and don’t know exactly what you will need for you new home, gift cards are appreciated. I guess you could say money is appreciated but ehhh. I would still do a traditional registry because many people will not give gifts otherwise, but request the gifts be sent to youtnhome and not brought to the wedding due to traveling with them.

Post # 6
6263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@distracts:  this. I do not see registries or anything referring to gifts on invites. You do it through word of mouth and you can write something creative on your website.

Post # 7
5592 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@radar:  Yeah, even a card to me is kinda icky.  Also I’d stay away from the wording “in lieu of gifts”.  That’s standard for funerals or something where people want you to donate elsewhere in lieu of flowers, but when I bring cash to a wedding, I still very much consider it a “gift”.

I would stick with no indication on your invites, and only when asked when you’re registered (which they inevitably will, to at least your mom or bridesmaids if not directly) say something like “we registered for a few things we really love at X, but we’re moving shortly and aren’t completely sure what we’ll need to set up our household, and it’s sometimes more expensive to ship things than to buy them new” and let your guests infer from there.  Most people are relatively intelligent.

Post # 8
1875 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@radar:  Invites should never mention gifts.  Nor should any sort of registry card or gift-related card go with the invites.  It implies that you expect gifts – which is greedy and rude.

It’s totally fine to prefer cash gifts, but it’s very impolite to straight up ask for cash.  The best thing to do is create a small registry (helpful for those who dislike giving money) and spread via word of mouth that you are saving up for X, Y, or Z.  People will get the hint.  It is also universally known that cash gifts are acceptable and lots of people give cash anyway.

Post # 9
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Registry information is generally saved for Shower invites, not wedding invites…at least in my area.

But my STDs and invites will have my wedding website address on them, and there is registry info there. Or, there will be, once we register lol.

Post # 10
81 posts
Worker bee

Do you have a wedding website that you can put that information on?

Post # 11
1263 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

This is a bit of an older post, but here’s my two cents!

Including gift information on wedding invitations is a bit of a regional speciality – in Australia, it’s pretty much expected! In the USA, the impression I get from other people here is that it’s incredibly rude. Check with others in your area whether or not it will go down well to include that information with your wedding invitations.

For us, we are just telling people if they ask what we want we either want something sentimental or money. We’re not being that blunt usually more along the lines of “We’re in the process of buying a house, so we’re in need of money rather than things, but if there’s something you think we would value (please, not a toaster!), then we would be thrilled to receive it!”

It’s working out well so far – some are giving us money, others have bought/plan on buying items that we will treasure (antique crockery from grandmother, board games, handmade items, a cake serving set from my great aunt…).

Post # 12
7439 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Strictly from an Etiquette point of view…


Folks are supposed to come to your Wedding to celebrate with you… not necessarily bring Gifts (believe it or not)

As the old saying goes… “Your presence is present enough”

So gifts (or NO GIFTS) should never ever be mentioned.

If you are hoping for primarily Gifts that are cash… then it is best if you don’t Register… or do so for a small number of items

Traditionally, word of mouth is how folks get info out about what the Bride & Groom need / want

So make sure your immediate Families and Bridal Party know your wishes … “They are registered at Macy’s but are also focussed on saving for a house”

In that way… folks can take a cue from what they are told (the CHOICE is always for the Guest to make… Gift OR No Gift… Wrapped Gift OR Cash / Cheque

In the modern world… Wedding Websites are a great way to get out the news to your Guests on things that once upon a time were only discussed verbally… Driving Directions – Hotel Suggestions – Registry Info – Other Activities / Intinerary etc

Hope this helps,

PS… The upside to using the Rules of Etiquette / Good Manners (be you the Guest or the Host) is you don’t run the risk of offending anyone (WHY anyone would choose to do that is BEYOND me).  Because if you don’t follow the accepted Rules and do offend someone you ultimately loose out (someone might not come, won’t bring a gift etc).  Just not worth it in my opinion (and for what… to prove some ridiculous point…. lol).

Personally, I’d rather have respectful Aunt Martha & Uncle Ted come and bring me the $ 100 gift but didn’t mix & mingle a lot with me and my Hubby… than hang with my bud Sue who didn’t RSVP, showed up anyhow, brought her uninvited BF, drank all my booze and didn’t give me a gift.  Aunt Martha & Ted were classy and didn’t cost me a lot of money or pain… Sue and Tom cost me more than double what I had planned for (her per head cost).  And in the end she barely remembers much anyhow and her BF got super drunk and the Bartenders threatened to remove him from the scene (someone mentioned they last saw him outside the venue looking very green)

When it comes to Weddings I think things should always be more top-drawer… and more respectful.  The B&G or Hosts, shouldn’t have to deal with high-school antics… people should be able to have a good time and still maintain some decorum / manners etc.

It is the right thing to do by a couple, so that they have an enjoyable day… and no bad memories to look back on.


Post # 13
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

This is odd…everyone is saying that including registry information on or with the invite is rude, but…I live in Canada, and people here find it confusing if registry information is NOT included. I always look for it (it’s usually added as an extra insert, not on the invite itself) in the envelope with the invitation. 

In fact I don’t recall ever receiving a wedding invite that didn’t include one. What I DO recall is receiving an invite that included a “cute” poem that basically said, while we appreciate gifts, we want your money instead. Now THAT was rude. 

I am in the same boat as you. We don’t really want gifts as we are trying to save money for a house and would prefer cash. However, we are going to go about this by having a very small registry and spending the word through close family and friends that we would prefer a cash gift. For some reason no one thinks it’s rude when you tell them to you their face. Lol. 

Post # 14
1 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

For those of you saying you will, or did, have a “small registry” in hopes for money, what do you consider small? Of course this is proportional to the wedding guest list, but let’s talk numbers please! The Fiance and I are having a really hard time determining how many gifts we should register for with keeping it just enough to avoid too many randoms and hopefully help with the savings plan instead. 


We have 160 guests (about 70 individual “groups”) 

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