(Closed) Asking for money donations at a wedding

posted 12 months ago in Beehive
Post # 2
3068 posts
Sugar bee

sallyloves90 :  I’ve read brides on this site enumerate every “reason” under the sun to justify their asking for money. When all is said and done, I haven’t seen a  “reason” that is compatible with what is considered good manners.

Post # 3
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I don’t see how asking for cash is any different to having a registry, you’re asking for specific gifts either way. I’m personally not comfortable with either.

Post # 4
633 posts
Busy bee

I didn’t realize it was rude until I found this site, haha. I remember multiple wedding invites my parents received that specified they only wanted cash as gifts. I never took it as rude because it’s not demanding the gift or a certain amount. Just letting people know that they don’t have to go to the trouble of picking something out because money is easier for the couple. 

ETA: I also get invited to my nieces and nephews parties that always have their current clothes/shoe sizes and favorite characters. I just thought these things were to make it easy for people to give a gift if they chose to. 

Post # 5
7450 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Honestly, it doesn’t bother me. You are asking for a certain gift on a registry so why is that more rude than just asking for money.

That being said, I tend to advise against it because I know many do see it as rude.

Post # 6
4088 posts
Honey bee

I think it’s rude to straight up ask for money; however, not having a registry is a more tactful way to let people know that you want money. That’s just my opinion, no judgment to anyone who thinks otherwise. 

Post # 7
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018 - City, State

I don’t mind honeyfunds and whatnot in place of a traditional registry. Most people will not be moving directly from parental home into marital home, so the utility of not needing china/linens/stand mixers/whatever makes sense to me.

What DOES bother me is cutesy poems, mentions of cash on the invite, or pitching it as “Please donate $70 to cover our wedding!” Bitch I didn’t pick those expensive centerpieces, don’t try to stick me with the bill tongue-out

Post # 9
4603 posts
Honey bee

No. Just no.  Unless you’re a 501(c)3, your wedding isn’t a charity.  Can’t afford the wedding?  Don’t have one.  Luxuries like parties aren’t a right.

(For those who don’t see  how it is different than a registry, then you clearly don’t understand the purpose of a registry. Because you don’t announce your registry either.  All those slips they give you to put in your invites are rude af. And no one is actually obligated to buy you a gift, let alone one off of the registry. Yes it is the cultural norm to never come to a wedding empty-handed and give a gift, but it is not actually required (showers are gift-giving parties, but not weddings). And you are definitely not required to buy exactly what is asked for off of the registry. The registry is just to give you an idea of what is needed and their preferences of things like colors so you aren’t buying orange towels for someone who is clearly decorating in teal or king size sheets for someone with a queen size bed.)

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