(Closed) Asking for money…? Tacky?!?

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 16
Member
5493 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

View original reply
@andielovesj:  I agree about registry info only being provided when asked.  I don’t think this couple put anything about gifts on their invitation.  I think it’s on their website, (which has become the standard place to put registry information these days).

Post # 17
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@missjo117 where did this couple have the request listed?  If it was on the invitation it is simply tacky as that is not the place to put anything to do with gifts or registries. Howver, if it is on something like a wedding website or by word of mouth then I really don’t see the problem with it. 

However, I also have a honeymoon registry set up for my own wedding, and I’ve recieved tons of great feedback from our guests!  It is for a trip to Thailand and our guests are enjoying picking out items from it!

Post # 19
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I’m always confused because in our circle cash is standard. No gives actual “gifts”

Post # 20
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I find buying gifts for wedding being tacky these days.. really just give them some cash in a card and they will know how to start off their new lives with some cash.

Post # 21
Member
698 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Again, wow.  I have received plenty of wedding invites with registery info enclosed, as well as invited to the shower.  I’m not having a shower since there is no gift registery, so I will be including that info with my invites.  And as far as wedding websites go, I really don’t get it.  Everyone has opinions, and you can’t make everyone happy.  I’m not amused when I see a couple’s registery for TV’s and pricey kitchen gadgets, so I give cash or a gift card wher they registered.  Bottom line is, you’re invited for a reason, to celebrate the couple’s union.  Not to complain about what they have asked for. 

Post # 22
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

It’s seriously tacky to ask for cash in my book. If that’s what a couple really wants, why can’t they just decline to register (hint #1 to guests) and spread the word through their immediate family and wedding party members (hint #2 to guests)? Asking for cash totally rubs me the wrong way, as do honeymoon registeries. 

Post # 23
Member
1827 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Most people I know give cash for weddings and buy a gift for the shower.   I think it is extremely rude to request cash gifts only as that is basically asking for money.   If the couple is that desperate to receive cash only, that message could be spread a bit more tastefully through word of mouth, not by printing that on the invitation.

Honestly?  I think it’s rude for people to expect to get anything at a wedding.  If people choose to buy you something, well, then you should be grateful regardless of what it is.   I know how it is to move several times and have a bunch of stuff to move with you – Fiance and I are heading back to Australia after the wedding and are then moving again in 2 years to either the UK, Canada, or the US.  Once again, we’ll be moving stuff with us.  It’s just the way life goes.   We’re storing our bigger stuff at my parents’ house until we decide where we’re going to be long term.  It’s really not that hard. 

Anyway, to answer your question – yes, it is extremely tacky to request cash for a gift.  A honeymoon registry is a great alternative to actual presents.  Another alternative is to register at a store like Kohl’s or Macy’s – both are very accommodating with receipts and return the things you really don’t need/want after the wedding.  Again, maybe not totally appropriate but at least more tasteful than specificlly requesting money.   

Post # 24
Member
10283 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I feel like I should elaborate on my PP…

In my circle/area almost all wedding gifts are monetary and all shower gifts are registry items. I’m totally cool with this and to be honest, it’s sort of what we expect for our shower/wedding. What I don’t think is cool is coming right out and telling your guests what the “appropriate” gift is. I personally feel that asking for money is “the dreaded T word”. An easy way around this would be to NOT register. Most people will get the hint and give cash if there are no alternatives. 

Post # 25
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Unbelievably tacky.

I asked my sister, and she said money. I didn’t find this tacky because she is my sister and I completely understand why. (They just bought a house) But if someone says it on their wedding invitations or website, then I find it tacky. By mouth is better.

For our wedding, I’m hoping for money because we plan on buying a house right after the wedding, but there is NO WAY, I’m adding it to our invitations. I’m fine with gifts. Its very thoughtful.

If I was invited to your friends wedding, there is no way I would give them cash.

Post # 26
Member
747 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

tacky. it would annoy me as a guest & could lead me to buy a gift when i would normally give $. i prefer to give gifts, but if i know a couple is strapped for cash, then i don’t have an issue giving it- as long as they aren’t pushy about;)

Post # 27
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t think it’s tacky at all. My FH & I have also stated that money would be much appreciated. Some couples have their reasons, I don’t think it should be taken personally. Why are we asking for money? Because my FH was hospitalized, lost his job and had to go bankcrupt. We already have help from our family for the wedding costs, and we certainly don’t need another appliance or plate 😛

I say give money insteed of a gift and have a great time at their wedding celebrating the beautiful union of two familys 🙂

Post # 28
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m with

View original reply
Meowkers on this, I just don’t get why it is rude to ask for cash or have a honeymoon registry.  I do think it is tacky to put any registry information on the actual invitation (be it cash or store information), but to put it on your website under registry information? Why is that bad?  If the couple would rather have cash than a blender, then give them cash.  Obviously you can give them whatever you want, and you don’t HAVE to give them cash (or anything at all for that matter), but for me, if I see that the couple would prefer cash, it’s what I’ll give.  I want to give them a gift that they actually want.

 

I have one store registry and a honeymoon registry.  I hope my guests are not going around saying how tacky that is.

Post # 29
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t fully understand what’s wrong with asking for cash either. I mean never would I put that on an invitation and honestly personally I probably wouldn’t put it but it wouldn’t offend me. I mean if you put your registry information on a website you are telling people what gifts to buy you already so what difference is it telling people you want cash? 

I’ve learned over the years to just always give cash at weddings. No one is ever upset with getting cash and its truly what 99% of married couples want.

Post # 30
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Not tacky at all. Here in Australia most people have a wishing well and people put money in there. Every wedding I have ever been to has done this, not once has anyone registered for anything (probably why I think registries are tacky, telling people what to buy and how much to spend). Usually wishing wells are anonomous. Usually on the invite people will have a little poem or something like that requesting money.

Asking for a cash gift is no different than registering, your still dictating what your guests buy you.

I think considering most couples already live together before marriage (again I dont know anyone who has gotten married without having an already established home) it is 100% ok to ask for and give money as a gift.

The topic ‘Asking for money…? Tacky?!?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors