(Closed) Asking for money

posted 11 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 32
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

It’s considered rude to put anything at all about gifts in the invites (no registry info, no “cash gifts appreciated”, no nothing that insinuates that you’re expecting a present; it’s a little dumb, but guests can get REALLY bent out of shape about it).

I would put it on your wedding website if you’re going to put it anywhere, but even there it could be seen the wrong way. Maybe you could do something like what Mrs. Bear (the bee) did, with having a “house registry” (like a PayPal account, where people can buy you “the kitchen sink”, the “supporting wall”, etc.). Or, if your cultural tradition supports it, you could have a dollar dance, a Ukrainian/Polish receiving line (where relatives give cash & cards to the couple), a wishing fountain/money tree, etc.

Post # 33
8943 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We got the word out to our families that we were mostly looking for cash because we already had a house together and were moving right after the wedding.  We did still have a small registry for the people who like giving gifts.  We also didn’t have any showers since people usually buy presents for those.

Post # 34
47 posts
  • Wedding: May 2010

It’s considered rude to put it on the invitation, but you could list your website on the invitation.  Then on a second page – not the home page! – list your registries.  Some registries like wishingwell allow you to list an event you’d like money for – honeymoon, tuition, whatever you’d like to list.  But beware – all these sites charge anywhere from 3% – 6% of the money, so you’re not getting all of what was gifted.

I took the approach of creating a link from the registry page to our honeymoon page, where I listed various things we’d like to do on the honeymoon, like snorkeling, zipline tour, cave tubing, scuba diving, dinner at a nice restaurant with how much they cost.  But no link to any kind of payment company.  People will write checks if they’d like to gift us with money.  I plan to write a thank you with what their gift helped us do.

Post # 35
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I can’t remember what it’s called but I know there are other websites out there where folks can just deposit money for you as a wedding gift. If I come across it again, I’ll pass it on.

I’ve had friends send an insert with their invitations listing their registries, and didn’t think anything of it – I was definitly not offended, esp. since she lives in CA! I would personally shy away from that, but you could certainly communicate it to the non-tech or web savvy types by sending a save-the-date with an insert listing your registry(-stries). Or you could email your guests with a link to your wedding website and do a fun(ny) way to request money without being tacky or offending people.

Post # 36
4 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Magenta:  Thank you for saying that. 


All of this talk about it being rude and shouldn’t be done yet every single wedding that I have been to in the last decade have all had registry info or some other mention about gifts.  

I know I appreciate the registry info, makes things so much easier on me.  Plus I have people already asking me where I am registered and making sure they will be getting the info with the invitation.

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