Post # 1
Did you do it??
My dad is paying for the majority of the wedding, FI’s parents are paying for food and my Mom paid for my dress… Fiance and I were planning on paying for most of the little stuff for the wedding ourselves and then a few of the big things like rings and his suit and invitations and whatnot, but business has been slow for Fiance and we don’t really have spare money for the wedding anymore! My budget is basically maxed out and put to good use (meaning I can’t really cut anything out) but there is still about $700 worth of things that we can’t afford and I’m thinking about asking my dad to extend the budget a little… I feel bad.
Did you ask for more money and if you did how did you tactfully do it??
Post # 3
I would maybe express your financial troubles to you dad. If he offers to help you out than great! If not, I don’t think there really is a tactful way to ask for more money. That said, it’s your dad so you know him better than I do. Maybe he would rather you just ask if you need money. idk.
Post # 4
No. We were grateful that our parents offered to chip in what they did, I wouldn’t have felt right about asking them to pay more just because we couldn’t cover our portion. $700 isn’t a ton of money to have to come up with in 3 months. I’d personally try to figure it out for yourself without asking for anything additional from anyone else. I’ve found that parents tend to offer what they’re comfortable with. If they were comfortable with X amount, then that’s all that they should be asked to pay.
On the other hand, you know your father better than any of us do. If you think he’d be open to it then go ahead and ask. I just know that I personally wouldn’t have been able to if I was in your position.
Post # 5
@UpstateCait: well that’s after we’ve budgeted to cover $700, and that doesn’t include our rings (that we will have to make payments on)… yea, I forgot about a lot of little things and some not so little things like lighting (for an outdoor night time reception in the middle of nowhere… yeaaa). Well the other thing was that he let me pick my budget basically, I just went with what he contributed for my sister’s wedding (almost 8 years ago) and he agreed on it… He has said multiple times to just let him know what I need.
Ugh…. Money is such a pain in the butt.
Post # 6
When we were discussing the guest list growing beyond our means and raising our budget, my sister suggested that my parents chip in more to cover the extra guests (all from my side of the family.) My mom readily offered. I’m not sure if you have a similar situation, but maybe you could have a family member make the suggestion. If its just little details though, I probably would do without.
Post # 7
I would not ask for money, I would just be happy with what they offered, it’s a gift not an entitlement. It’s not really your dad’s fault that you went over budget or forgot about things. I don’t want to sound mean but I think when you get married you’re announcing you’re an adult and its time to be financially repsonsible. But that’s just my 2 cents, untimately you have to decide how guilty it would make you feel and what kind of financial situatiuon your parents are in and how comfortable you and them would be with him forking over more money. Good luck with whatever you decide!
Post # 8
Sorry, but you should be able to cover the extra $700 yourself. I wouldn’t ask for more money. Your dad gave you a budget and it was your idea to go over.
Post # 9
We didnt ask for money at all, we paid for everything ourselves. I dont think you should ask for extra money.
Post # 10
EDIT/UPDATE: I posted it above, but the $700 is ontop of the $700 we are planning on putting in still (and not including the money we already spent), so putting in $1400 when my Fiance and I are going through a rough time financially (which we weren’t when we first started planning the wedding) isn’t a smart idea. My dad is relatively well off and he didn’t set the budget, he told me to decide what I thought was enough/fair and has told me to just let him know what I need… So I picked the same budget my sister had when she got married 8 years ago without looking at priceds for things etc. and he ok’ed it.
That said, I don’t think anyone’s responses have been rude or snarky or anything, and I do appreciate everyon’s opinions, but I was only asking if people had asked for more money and if they had how they did it, not asking opinions on me asking for more money.
Post # 11
If he can afford it and you feel fine asking for it, then just straight up ask. Dad, I know I told you we only needed xx for the wedding, but I’m looking over things and it turns out I’m $700 short, is that ok? Do you mind paying $700 more? Of course if he’s already paying for practically everything and can afford it, he wont even think twice and say of course.
Why dance around it and try to be tactful? IMO there’s no tactful way to ask someone for money for something frivolous, so just be straight. He’s your father, no need to put up some cute front, you should be able to be direct with him.
Post # 12
Just let him know that you have come across some expenses that you forgot to budget for and that you are Fiance are already struggling to cover your share of the expenses. See if he offers to cover the difference. Otherwise, find something to cut.
Post # 13
I understand where you’re comining from with your fiance’s business being slow and money not coming in as expected. My fiance owns a small business and things can be lean one month and fat the next! It makes budgeting for daily life tricky sometimes, not to mention a big event. We do focus on saving from the fat months to get by in the lean months, but trust me, I know that it doesn’t always even out. Keep trying and build a cushion fund as soon as you can! :o)
That said, for your over-budget $700, you might request it from your dad as a loan. I think a loan is a fair way to go. It helps you to cover those extras up front without going into credit card debt and having to pay interest – but with a fair payment plan worked out, it’s not as though you’re going begging to daddy for freebies. Yes – a payment plan! Approch your dad as you would a vendor. Write down your proposed terms for repayment, as well as a plan of how you will use the money in the loan.
And not to sound like a total mercenary pig, but you will probably have some money coming in soon from wedding gifts. You could offer to pay your dad back from that first before spending any of it on yourselves.
Post # 14
@sweetcrackers: that’s a great idea! Thanks so much!
Post # 15
- Wedding: October 2018 - Stone Rows Farm
@o0olibelulao0o: I ran into the same situation. So basically what i did, was i made a very detailed spreadsheet with all pricing attached of high low and average pricing… ALL of which fell above the amouint my father gave me… So he buckled down and gave me another 5grand. If you wanna do the same let me know.. I’ll email y ou the spreadsheet. It is super organized and useful! Good luck!
Post # 16
@o0olibelulao0o: My parents initally refused to pay for anything at all—then after I made my resentment known they begrudgingly offered to put 3k towards the ceremony/reception–I’ll believe it when I see it
It’s not that I expected them to just pick up the tab–but there flat out refusal to help with ANYTHING really miffed me–they couldn’t even say they would pay for the cake, photographer, dress, etc.–just to take some pressure off of me
And they are very well off btw–they just had some ridiculous resentment because my fiance hadn’t asked for my hand or some crap……what year is this again?