Post # 1
Before getting engaged, I made it clear to my fiance that I did not want him asking my dad for permission to marry me, especially without me knowing. However, he and I both want to include my parents and get their blessing.
As of now, they do not know that we are engaged, and I want to tell them and ask for thier blessing with my fiance, but we are unsure of how to go about it. Does anyone have any advice?
(note: my parents are divorced, so there are two sets to ask. Also, my mother is super judgy of my now-fiance, mostly because he has tattoos :/ )
Post # 2
I’m not sure bee.. I personally wouldn’t ask the question if you might receive an answer your don’t want. Would your parents be upset if they know you asked for their blessing, but didn’t care about the answer because you’re already engaged anyways? At this point I would just announce it.
Post # 3
Do you have any reason to fear that your parents won’t support you? Neither of us wanted to ask a blessing, but we also know that both our parents love their future in-law. I would say something like, “Dad/mom… I wanted to let you know we are planning on getting married. I love you very much and so does (partner) so it’s important to us that we told you right away. I know you will support us through this. Will you give us your blessing?”
When I’m not 100% sure of how someone will take things, I always say, “I know that you will support…” and THEN ask the question, at which point they are hard-pressed to disagree.
Post # 4
I would word it like marlos said. We are doing this, we love you, we would love your blessing
Post # 5
I think you could just say something like “We have some really happy news to share – we’re engaged! Your support means so much to us, so we wanted to ask if you would give us your blessing as we take this next step in life together.” Asking for their blessing is not the same as asking for permission, so I think you can do it retroactively. Do you have any reason to worry they won’t be supportive?
Post # 6
My fiance didn’t ask for a blessing and instead we called them right after we got engaged and he said: “I know I didn’t ask for your blessing before, but I hope I have your blessing.” He and I are both on good terms with them and that’s all we needed to say. They were a bit shocked and also thrilled.
Post # 7
I agree that you should simply announce it. How will you feel if they say no? I’d imagine you wouldn’t feel so great, so don’t give them an open door to hurt you.
Post # 8
I would simply tell them that you’re engaged. I’m sure if they have something to say they would. Otherwise I would take it as blessing is given.