Asking friend to be a groomsman when I didn’t get an invite to his bach. party

posted 1 year ago in Grooms/men
Post # 2
607 posts
Busy bee

In my opinion, if this is a friendship you value then it’s best to just talk about it. Go for drinks, eat some food, talk about what happened. If you can get past that, then ask him to be your groomsman. 

Post # 3
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Is it possible that he didn’t organise the guest list for the bachelors party?

It is odd that neither of you mentioned it ever again.

Post # 4
13590 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If it bothered you, you should have talked to him about it.  Bringing it up now might seem petty though — “I wanted you to be a groomsman, but I’m mad that you didn’t invite me to a party a year ago.”  You’re either close enough to want him to be a groomsman, or you aren’t. 

Post # 6
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

jones65 :  Just talk to him about it.  My Fiance has been organizing his bachelor party, and I hear them going over the guest list.  I notice my Fiance keeps forgetting about some of his buddies.  I keep on chiming in saying “what about John?” or “Wouldn’t you want tTim there?”.  He keeps on thinking his friends wouldn’t want to bother for whatever reason.  But then he calls them and they chat they are happy at the end.  

I would still ask him to be your groomsman.  Again, my Fiance didn’t ask like any of his buddies to be groomsmen because he thought that most guys don’t want to be bothered.  He almost didn’t ask his own brothers.  Meanwhile I know there are a bunch who would love to be his groomsmen. You never know what is actually going on in his head until you ask.

Post # 7
1096 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Leave the past in the past. If you consider him a good friend, why not invite him? Wedding parties don’t have to be tit for tat.

Post # 8
3311 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

It was probably an oversight by the person who organized the party. He can’t go back in time and correct it & there is no need to “clear the air”. You value him as a friend & want him in your wedding party, so ask him. 

Post # 9
49 posts
  • Wedding: July 2018

That’s a really tough one. It’s best to clear the air but at the same time it’s such an awkward conversation and puts both of you in a bad place. Tough…. maybe ask your best mutual friend who did go?

Post # 10
1798 posts
Buzzing bee

Do not make him or his best man your groomsmen.

Post # 11
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I think you need to go out for coffee and get past some of the resentments to move forward and then assess whether you want him or not.

Post # 12
1593 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’m sorry I really don’t see what one has to do with the other?

Weddings aren’t tit for tat, as someone else said. If you want to ask him, ask him, his bach has nothing to do with your wedding IMO.

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