(Closed) Asking groomsmen/ushers to pay us back for their suit

posted 6 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Have your hubby give them a call with a follow-up email.  He can offer for them to pay him through paypal or check and that he’ll send the email with the details.  Also, check in so they know they are more than just a money problem.

Post # 4
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

This is a tough one. I really don’t know.

Post # 6
Member
7735 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

And I think the best way is by phone, because it’s hard to write it without it sounding like a demand. Darling Husband needs to get on the phone and say something like:

“Hi Steve, Joe here. Look, this is about the suits for the wedding. This is awkward but, you remember we agreed that the groomsmen would pay for their suit hire? And, the thing is, some of the guys have paid but you haven’t. Would you be able to fix us up for that?…”

It’s better coming from your husband, in the sense that it looks bad for him to get his wife to do it. I would give your husband a deadline (e.g. 2 weeks) otherwise you’ll get on the phone and ask them yourself.

Post # 8
Member
7735 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@kay01:  Ah, I’d wondered why the suit hire was so expensive. Well that makes your job easier, because it’s asking them to pay for something they own. And unlike most Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, a suit really is rewearable. So now I’d change my suggested speech to something like this:

“Hi Steve, Joe here. Look, this is about the suits for the wedding. This is awkward but, you remember we agreed that the groomsmen would pay for their suits, since you get to keep them? And, the thing is, you haven’t paid us for yours yet. Would you be able to fix us up for that?…”

Post # 9
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think it is awkward to ask when it has already been explicitly agreed upon. Therefore I wouldn’t recommend prefacing the conversation with “this is awkward” which only serves to MAKE it awkward. 

Since you are just reminding them, I would do it over email for sure!

How about:

“Hi Fred, Thank you once again for being part of our wedding! You truly helped make it the best day of our lives. We’re just finalizing the finances, including collecting the cost of the suits from the groomsmen. The total cost is $300 – interac email money transfer would be perfect.”

This is tactful because it doesn’t make them feel like they dropped the ball by not paying yet. You’re framing it like the process is totally organized and nothing is up for debate. 

I hope that helps! 

Post # 10
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@DecoMeOut:  +1

Definitely agree. And perfect way to word too! 

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