(Closed) Asking guests to pay for dinner the night before?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oops forgot to say based on that wording and the fact that you wouldn’t be doing formal invitations I too would assume I’m paying for myself. Then again,I always assume I’m paying for myself unless someone makes it blatantly obvious I wouldn’t be required to.

As I said we are having a dry reception due to venue policy (and our wedding is at 10am anyway) so I was thinking of telling everyone we (my groom and I) will be having drinks somewhere later  that night and anyone is welcome to stop by. This also may work as an opportunity for some of the new friends we’ve made (since sending out our invites) to come celebrate with us. 

Post # 33
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Pumpkin_Bee:  Interesting that some people think that wording would mean you’re hosting. I would never assume that for an event to which I was invited by word of mouth. In fact, I’d pretty much assume that I had to pay unless otherwise specified, or unless it’s something OBVIOUSLY paid for by the couple, like the wedding.

Post # 34
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I personally see nothing wrong with is, but I’m very loose and laid back when it comes to etiquette. 

I wanted a really casual rehearsal dinner for the bridal party, parents and out of town guests. I knew I couldn’t afford a restaurant or any hall for it. My co-worker knew the predicament I am in, and offered her backyard to me, she is such a sweet woman! She is the most amazing person, and despite our age gap of 20 years, she has become a close friend and confidant. When she offered her backyard to me, I started crying because her gesture spoke volumes about how much she cares for me.

We’ll BBQ for all our guests, lots of salads and offer beer, coolers, juice and water. She also has a pool, so everyone is invited to bring their swimsuits. This is a great way to spend some quality time with these people before my wedding, and lets us thank them for being there and supporting us. Could you do something similar? A BBQ is always a favourite, it’s very budget friendly as long as you don’t get crazy with themes etc. and everyone will appreciate the gesture. 

Post # 35
1953 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Pumpkin_Bee:  I thought of it when I saw you mention getting married at a camping ground. Plus it would be really easy and inexpensive to ‘go the extra mile’ and provide s’ mores for everyone if you wanted.

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