Post # 1
Hello bees! I’m a long time lurker, new poster. Love it here so far 🙂
Quick question…my FI and I are having a very small ceremony in January, in our new home, living room, in front of the fireplace. No grand entrances, no elaborate decor, just a family and closest friends only type deal with catered in food and bar afterwards. Our intent is to make the ceremony “all about the vows” and have a relaxed party afterwards in the home.
I say it’s ok to have our guests standing, closely surrounding us as we say our vows. FI says we should rent chairs and clear living room and set up chapel style. Non of our intended guests are elderly or otherwise physically limited. There will be some small children present. Total head count under 30. “ceremony” shouldn’t last longer than about 20 mins max.
I just don’t want to be rude. I want it to be a very intimate setting where we are surrounded by our loved ones. Is it rude to ask them to stand??? Or am I missing an etiquette here and should offer everyone seats? IF geography has any dictation on the matter, we are a Midwest couple…but he’s from the south and thinks his fam may be offended?
Please and thank you for your opinions!!!
Post # 3
Would it be possible just to put in a couple of chairs – maybe half a dozen? I’m just thinking of any elderly guests you might have, they might feel more comfortable sitting. But certainly most people would be more than happy to stand for such a short ceremony. 🙂
Post # 4
People come to weddings with purses and cameras and heels. They like to sit down, take a load off, and relax with purses in laps, easily take out a tissue becausd of the beautiful vows etc. Otherwise you will have figity guests.
ETA: also, think of the short people.
Post # 5
I see this being no big deal. I can stand for 20 minutes.
Post # 6
For less than 20 minutes, I think asking them to stand will be fine. Just make sure there’s plenty of chairs for them to sit down afterwards.
Post # 7
I can’t stand for 5 minutes… so I voted “put up chairs and let guests decide to sit or not”You may find that some people will sit….
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
You need to have at least some chairs. What if your BFF sprains her ankle a few weeks before the wedding or someone is feeling under the weather that day or didn’t sleep a wink the night before? Asking people to stand still for 20 minutes is a bit much, IMHO.
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
You can borrow chairs from people- your guests will be a lot happier if they don’t have to stand. Yes, they can stand, but like MrsBroccoli said, your guests will have purses, cameras, little kids- chairs will make them more comfortable.
Post # 10
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
If I’m going to a wedding, I’m probably in heels. Even if I weren’t pregnant as I am now, I’d be annoyed to not have a chair. Plus, I hate struggling to see.
Also, it’s not just 20 minutes. Polite, type-A guests will show up 30 minutes early. So you are asking them to stand for 50 minutes, not 20. And then if there is a cocktail hour after, they’ll be standing for another 60 minutes after that. Or will there be enough seats in the home for all 30 people to sit at once?
Post # 11
If I had to stand still for 20 minutes, I’d probably stop paying attention to the ceremony. And that would suck.
Post # 12
Set up a few chairs. Give your parents a place of honor, as well as a row behind them for anyone who might require a place to sit. That will also define your space a little better and encourage people to stand up behind the chairs and not around the back of the room.
I was going to have most of our guests standing for our Memorial Day wedding outdoors, but ended up getting chairs for everyone when it was 100deg. If you’re inside your own home, they can kick off their shoes and set down their handbags if need be.
Post # 13
I had a blood clot in my leg and appear perfectly normal. However, I cannot stand in one place for 20 minutes. Not only would I be annoyed, but my leg would hurt.
Post # 14
Our wedding ceremony will be very small (<15 people, all immediate family, 5 of those under the age of 25) and on the deck of a WW2 ship. We haven’t done our site visit yet, but I’m thinking there may not be room for chairs, and am perfectly open to the idea of people standing for the ceremony. In fact, I think having a few chairs would feel weird to the people sitting in them with everyone else towering around them.
If someone can go grocery shopping, they can stand for a 20 minute ceremony. If when I go for a site visit I can have enough chairs for everyone, then I will do that, but if I can’t, they’ll be standing.
Post # 15
@Nautigirl: If someone can go grocery shopping, they can stand for a 20 minute ceremony
I go grocery shopping but I use the cart to hold me up and I am doing something… walking not standing. I actually have a hard time standing in line, so I go early when there is no line up.
Post # 16
While I’m perfectly in good shape and can stand for 20 minutes, I hate doing it. Iota pretty uncomfortable, especially in heels or dress shoes that probably aren’t so cozy.