Asking his sister to be a bridesmaid

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Ask her?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 2
    Member
    412 posts
    Helper bee

    Depends on how close you are with her. I personally am fairly close with my FI’s sister (she is 3 years younger than me) and I plan to ask her. I do think it is a little silly to view it as a “she didn’t ask me, so why should I ask her?” but it all comes back to how close you all are. 

    If you don’t feel a connection with her, like it won’t break your heart if she isn’t in your wedding party then don’t ask her. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    539 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    No you don’t have to. I’m not close with mine but since I’ve asked her to be a bridesmaid we are getting closer. But she has always seemed to like me. If you have suspicion that she doesn’t like you it might be best not to ask her because she might make you life hard by not purchasing the dress or refusing to and overall just not caring about anything. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    5002 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Life isn’t tit for tat.  So her not asking you to be in her party has nothing to do with whether you should ask her.  No one is owed a spot in anyone’s bridal party.

    It should be based on relationships.  You state you don’t have a close relationship with her at all, so why would you even ask her?  Or expect to be asked in hers?  If you’re not close, then don’t ask.

    Post # 5
    Member
    10370 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    No. If you aren’t close don’t ask.

    Post # 6
    Member
    70 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2019

    I would go on the basis of – will she make your life / wedding planning easier or harder? Also, what does your fiance think? My fiance is VERY close with his sister, so if I didn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid, he would’ve been very upset.

    Also, I wouldn’t follow the “she didn’t ask me, so I’m not asking her”. Out of my 6 bridesmaids, I’ve only been in two of their weddings. To me the wedding party is about who you want to spend the day with but also who matters to you, who can help you with planning, etc. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    7537 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    No, you do not have to ask her. If her wedding isn’t until July 2018 and yours isn’t until May 2019 I wouldn’t assume she won’t ask you and it’s waaaaay too early for you to be asking anyone. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    3064 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    View original reply
    kitkat1 :  If you aren’t really close, don’t, haha. My SIL who I am not very close with ( though I do like her, we just don’t hang out, shes a little bit older ect) asked me and my sister to be bridesmaids and while it was really nice, I kind of wished I would have been able to be a guest.

    It is a nice gesture but not necessary

    Post # 9
    Member
    1203 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    No, you don’t have to.
    Is your Future Sister-In-Law, your FI’s sister? As a side note, siblings are often included but SO’s of siblings are not (unless close friends). So the groom’s sister being a Bridesmaid or Best Man is seen as a different level than the Bride’s brother’s gf/FI being a bridesmaid.
    Still, I voted no. If she doesn’t care for you, she’ll likely put a damper on your happy moments with your bridesmaids.

    Post # 10
    Member
    27 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    I don’t think you should feel obligated to ask her.  My Fiance has 2 sisters and I’ve only asked one of them because I am close to her. It’s YOUR wedding, so ask who you would want by your side.

    Post # 11
    Member
    936 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    My husband asked me to include his sister since he was part of her wedding when she got married so he only thought it was fair… So i didnt see what the big deal was I also have 3 sisters and they were all in my wedding it was all sisters my bridal party including her so i figured why not! 

    Post # 12
    Member
    826 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I don’t think whether she asks you to be in her wedding or not should be related to if you ask her or not.  I asked my future sister in law to be a bridesmaid, but that was more because my Fiance and her are very close and he wanted her to be a part of our day.  I personally think it would be weird if she asked me to be in her wedding.  We get along just fine and I know she likes me, but we’re not super close either.

    Post # 13
    Member
    317 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    View original reply
    ambernicole28 :  Yes–this.

    I was going to say “don’t ask her” but this is better advice!

    Post # 14
    Member
    3 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    I would say you need to ask her!  You need to think that after the wedding you will be family regardless if you are close now.  No matter what she will be your sister so that is all that is important.  My sister in law and I were close at first and then before the wedding we had a huge falling out that involved my sister and our two best friends who were also bridesmaids and she still was a bridesmaid in my wedding.  We have since made up enoguh since my wedding and June and we have decided to just start over because no matter what family is family! 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1472 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I wouldn’t ask her, since you aren’t close. It also doesn’t seem like she’d expect to be asked, since she didn’t ask you.

    I’m not close to my SIL, I did ask her becuase I think it meant a lot to her, my husband, and probably his mom to have her in the party. But, since it doesn’t seem like anyone in the family would have strong feelings about it, I wouldn’t.

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