(Closed) asking how much someone’s ring cost…taboo?

posted 10 years ago in Money
Post # 19
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

The same thing happened to me acutally. Right after I fell in love with a ring, I told my gf, and she asked “how much was it?” I simply replied with” none of your business”. Geeeeez, some people! I am sorry that you let the cat out of the bag on that one. Its not your fault thought, its your nosy friends!

Post # 20
Member
1726 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Awkward. I agree that in some situations it might be okay to discuss it, but it sounds like this wasn’t one of them. It probably was prompted by saying that the ring was bought at an estate sale. Who knows though, she might have just let that slip before realizing that it wasn’t an appropriate thing to ask. Don’t we all kinda get “diarrhea of the mouth” from time to time? LOL, sorry that term is so vulgar, but you know what I mean… 😉

Post # 21
Member
4410 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010 - Savannah, GA

I think it’s rude.  I would never dream of asking someone how much money they earned, and I wouldn’t dream of asking someone how much their ring cost.

That said…I have had some bees ask me how much my ring cost, but I think that was completely for research purposes. 

Post # 22
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

VERY rude.

Post # 23
Member
7769 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think finances are super private.  I don’t like it when people offer information (I didn’t ask for) about how much their car/ house/ ring costs.  I knew this lady that would eye up everything (I have known several!) I wore, and she would be like, “How do you always have new Birks?”  (Or something like that.)  “Are they still as expensive as they used to be?  Does your husband make that much?”  (Silence… silence… how do I respond :/ ?)  But in general I think it depends on what kind of a relationship you have with the person asking, and how comfortable you are sharing with one another- those are the things that determine the scale of rudeness (or not!)

Post # 24
Member
7298 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@snobunny: I would find it rude and come up with a crazy answer like “Oh. You don’t want to know. We could have purchased three cars with it.” 

Post # 25
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

umm yeah I would have gotten amnesia or just blatantly ignored her. Overall I think its kinda rude to ask what most things cost of that nature

Post # 26
Member
7294 posts
Busy Beekeeper

ya i think its a bit rude. why do they need to know?

i know what you mean about being caught off guard. one of my friends asked me how much my wedding was cost and i told her. but i felt weird about it after and wished i had said something like “why, how much are you contributing” and if they are not contributing, then there is really no need to know the costs!

Post # 27
Member
3460 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s a money question, and generally money questions are considered taboo.  Everyone of course draws the line at different places – for example, my circle of friends might ask how much a bag/earrings/sweater cost without fear.  Where I live, though it likely ought to be off limits, for some reason asking how much people pay for an apartment is actually asked/answered very often (but people usually preference it with “if you don’t mind me asking.”)  I know how much the wedding of a friend and a cousin cost, but not others – that’s pretty rare for that information to be shared.  So the moral of this is that it really just depends which “circle” she’s in and how much you share in that circle.  Normally I’d think very few people would be in the circle to know this particular information. 

But in the end, what’s normal or not really doesn’t matter if you feel uncomfortable.  I totally get the sharing because you were in total shock and regretting it immediately after.  You didn’t ask, but you may be wondering what to do now.  I’d just reach out to her and say that you were so startled you shared the information, but on reflection it makes you uncomfortable that others in the group might know, so if she would please keep the information to herself you would greatly appreciate it.

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