(Closed) Asking moms whether they breastfeed or formula: rude or not?

posted 6 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Is it rude to ask if someone is breast-feeding or formula?
    Yes : (89 votes)
    48 %
    No : (95 votes)
    52 %
  • Post # 3
    2086 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

    I’m not a mom and i think it’s sounds a bit judge-y.  I think I’d have to respond “why do you ask?”

    Post # 4
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    That is way too personal.  The kind of thing I think I could only talk to people about that I was related to, and even then….

    Post # 5
    1111 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I would talk about this with friends and family members, but would be irritated if a coworker/casual acquaintance asked me.  Unless you know the mom well, the only reason I see for asking such a personal question is to judge them (positively or negatively), which is unfair.

    I’d tell them to MYOB.

    Post # 6
    7609 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I’ve asked my girlfriends (like, so we could schedule plans and so I would know not to hug her too hard and hurt her boobs) but I’d never ask a stranger.

    Post # 7
    384 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2004

    it depends on situations random down the road asking yeah a bit rude, Nurse asking not rude

    Post # 8
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Some people really are judgmental on this topic, so I can 100% understand a women being offended/not wanting to answer. It’s also pretty circumstantial. If I think the person has a valid reason to ask me, I wouldn’t mind. If I thought they were being noisy & don’t need that info, I’d probably ask them why they wanted to know. 

    Post # 9
    10714 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I don’t think it’s rude to ask (I’ve never been offended when people asked) . Its rude to judge them on their answer though.

    Post # 10
    2299 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I think it’s an extremely personal questions, so yes, I think it’s rude. None of their business…unless if they’re asking for advice on breastfeeding.

    Post # 11
    3471 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    Like so many other things– it depends on the reason behind the question.  I generally ask, but it’s because I can get some great discounts on formula and often get samples sent to me (long story) so if a new mom is using formula, I’ll usually give her any samples I have of the brand she’s using.  

    Post # 12
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I wouldn’t ask someone I barely knew, but I do tend to ask new moms out of curiousity since I hope to some day be a mom and want to know why they do or don’t.

    Post # 13
    1813 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I ask those I know and am close to, or those who I know will not be offended – mostly because my Mum never breastfed, so I’d like to learn more.  I asked a lady who has a hotel we work with recently  – she’s just had her first baby, and not only did she answer my questions, she showed me how to put the nipple in the mouth and everything.

    I wish there was an option for “depends” on this poll, because a friend used to get stopped in the street and asked if she was breastfeeding her newborn and some people became extremely judgemental when she said no.  She couldn’t because she wasn’t producing milk, so she was always left feeling really awful afterwards.


    Post # 14
    5148 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I think it really depends on the person and the situation.

    One of my co-workers, who is also pregnant and due a couple weeks before me, asked me last week if I planned to breastfeed. Her reason was that she wanted to tell me she found where one of the “mom’s rooms” was for pumping at work. I find that helpful, not rude.

    Post # 15
    4152 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    Family and close friends: fine. Random people just being nosey: not fine.

    Post # 16
    2196 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I’m not pregnant and have not gone through this, but share the same mindset as some of my friends who have had little ones. If it was a close friend/family member – I wouldn’t be offended. Random person on the bus or at work, I wouldn’t answer. It’s a touchy subject so I think it totally depends on the person and how open they choose to be with their decisions. Answering also can open a can of worms, and have people give the “well with MY kids….” topic which I DO think is rude.

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