(Closed) Asking moms whether they breastfeed or formula: rude or not?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Is it rude to ask if someone is breast-feeding or formula?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 17
    Member
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 1999

    I definately think it depends on the situation. Someone who is close, or planning for children-no. I was the first out of my friends to have kids and a lot of them have had questions, I don’t think that is rude.

    Post # 18
    Member
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    People STILL ask and DD is 2! I think it’s weird, like why do you care, but I’m happy to answer. I nursed DD for 13 months.

    Post # 19
    Member
    1513 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    i dont have kids but if i was asked i wouldnt be offened. even if the motivation was to be nosy, if i am completely confident in my descision, then i will have no problem sharing it.

    i do think it would be STRANGE for a person i did not know at all and wasnt engaged in small talk about parenting with to randomly walk up and ask, and i probably wouldnt answer because it was creepy.

    Post # 20
    Member
    187 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I don’t think it is rude. Not everyone is trying to judge others. Is it offensive to ask about eating solids before 6 months? If you fed veggies before fruits and so on? 

    If you are confident in your choices then no one can phase you with their judgments or basic curiosity. Maybe they are struggling with making a choice and you could inspire them one way or another.

    Post # 21
    Member
    1012 posts
    Bumble bee

    Its not rude at all.  If its a natural thing and women who breastfeed in public want it to be accepted, then its acceptable to ask.

    Post # 22
    Member
    2025 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If they’re asking for a legitimate reason ( like in 

    View original reply
    @abbyful‘s case), then no big deal. But if they’re just asking out of curiosity, then I think it’s a little strange. I find it interesting 12 weeks postpartum, just how many people ask. It feels like they’re asking so they can judge me. whatever my answer. Don’t know if that’s true, but that’s what it sure feels like. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    1309 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would never ask a woman I didn’t know very well that question because it is a very sensitive subject to a lot of people. However I would never be offended if someone asked me, even if it was a stranger.

    Post # 24
    Member
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    This is based on the intentions of the person asking. In general though, you will get alot of unwanted advice and judgement by people while pregnant.

    Post # 25
    Member
    1068 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Oh man, I am so judgmental about this topic. I wouldn’t say it to a new mom, but I really can’t help it.

    Post # 26
    Member
    6009 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    In my experience, people often ask so they can preach to you, one way or another.  If a new parent or parent friend is asking, I assume s/he probably looking for advice or to share experiences and I’m happy to talk about my choices.  If anyone else asks, I assume they want to share their views on the topic, so I usually change the subject. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    842 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I would find it rude coming from a stranger or acquaintance, just as I would any other baby-related question.  If it’s someone I know and if they’re asking out of curiosity, that’s fine.  I’m not a mom yet, so I haven’t personally run into any judgement on the issue and I guess I always figured moms who didn’t breastfeed had a good reason for it.   

    Post # 28
    Member
    1733 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I am a mom and it would not offend me if someone asked me that.  If they are doing so to be judgemental well thats there problem.

    Post # 29
    Member
    1496 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    It just depends. If its for a legit reason then that’s one thing. But from a stranger…its just a weird thing to ask.

    I have had friends who have been asked randomly by people they didn’t know but I was never asked myself. I always secretly kinda hoped that a stranger would ask me, though, so that I could answer with “Neither. We’re putting an extra dish in the floor beside the dog’s bowl.”

    Post # 30
    Member
    418 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I think this is rude to ask, if the woman doesn’t bring it up. Many mothers feel like they have failed their child or they aren’t a good parent because they have problems feeding and have to switch to formula at a young age. It’s a sensitive topic for some women so I would wait for them to bring it up to ask any questions.

     

    I guess it would depend on how you phrase it though. If you are pregnant and just ask “We’re thinking about this, what did you do?” that may be different

    Post # 31
    Member
    418 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    View original reply
    @Tangled:  i’d be interested to hear your judgements, i tend to be super judgemental about this as well! 

    The topic ‘Asking moms whether they breastfeed or formula: rude or not?’ is closed to new replies.

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