(Closed) Asking moms whether they breastfeed or formula: rude or not?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Is it rude to ask if someone is breast-feeding or formula?
    Yes : (89 votes)
    48 %
    No : (95 votes)
    52 %
  • Post # 47
    Member
    7776 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Yes. 100% rude. I think that it is a very personal choice and it’s really no one else’s business. I had a lot of issues breastfeeding and had to quit and it was a very painful, angry subject for me and still is. I feel like it is intrusive when people ask about it and it brings up emotions I’d rather not get into to.

    Post # 48
    Member
    5976 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I think it depends on why someone is asking. I’ve asked a ton of my friends if they breastfed recently b/c I’m 29 weeks pregnant and I’m looking for advice from those who have. I usually say, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but did you breastfeed? Did you find it difficult?” I think it’s all in the way you approach someone.

    If you’re asking just to share you opinion on the topic, then that’s just plain rude. None of your business. 

    Post # 50
    Member
    10363 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Nobody needs to know how my breasts are getting used. I think it’s rude and it’s not a question i’d answer to anyone who isn’t a doctor, close friend, or in my immediate family.

    Post # 51
    Member
    3356 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I don’t have children, but I wouldn’t mind the question if it was asked out of curiosity for my reasons why or even my experience with it for potential mothers etc. … instead of asking because they want to lecture me on which is better according to what THEY think. If it’s the latter, just shut up.

    Post # 52
    Member
    570 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2009

    I don’t think it’s rude to ask, I think it’s rude to judge after hearing the answer, whatever it may be.  Granted, I may be jaded due to the number of times I’ve had questions regarding how my twins came about…

    Post # 53
    Member
    2095 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I don;t think the question is rude. I think the response to the answer can be though.

    Post # 54
    Member
    5107 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I never realized this was considered  rude…whooopppps

    Post # 55
    Member
    811 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    It never bothered me when anyone asked. There are a lot worse things I could get offended about and that is not one of them.

    Post # 56
    Member
    552 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I HATE it when people ask me that. Random strangers asking me in Walmart…drives me nuts. Its a personal decision and it bothers me that people are so judgemental about this topic.

    I truly believe that more women would be successful at breastfeeding if there’s wasn’t so much pressure to do so.

    Post # 57
    Member
    176 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I breastfed my son. I would not have been offened if I would have been asked. I was happy/proud that I was doing it. Unfortunately, I only did it for a month then I had to go back to work and it was too hard to pump on my short breaks… I don’t think there is anything wrong with asking, as long as you’re asking for a good reason

    Post # 58
    Member
    422 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    As its an emotional topic I steer clear of asking unless it comes up in conversation. If I do have an insight I frame it in the context of “if you choose this, then you may find this helpful”. If judgement is passed on a mothers feeding choice, then the person deserves to be slapped. Hard. 

    Post # 59
    Member
    326 posts
    Helper bee

    I don’t really find it rude. It is somewhat personal so I would only ask a friend or family. I think that people are very worried about being judged and really should feel more confident in their choice of how they feed their baby. I think it is generally people  that feel attacked or insecure in their choice that find the question offensive. 

    Post # 60
    Member
    367 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    @hopeandpray – I think that can be part of it.  However, I look at it differently. 

    I am planning to breastfeed and am confident in that.  I get offended because people are asking about my breasts.  What bothers me is when people treat my body like it’s no longer my private business.  If you wouldn’t ask me abou tmy breasts when I’m not pregnant…don’t do it now.

    Same with the weight gain.  What’s up with people asking how much weight I’ve gained??? Would you like me to ask you???

    Post # 61
    Member
    3667 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    Hmm… depends on why they’re asking. If it’s someone who wants to know just to satisfy their curiosity, I’d find it rude. If it’s someone who is pregnant or trying and is asking so they can gather first-hand experiences, I wouldn’t find it rude.

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