(Closed) Asking my parent's blessing…

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Haha, there is no way that my Fiance would have asked for anyone’s permission or blessing.  We don’t believe in it for several reasons.

1.  It wouldn’t matter what they said, he still would have proposed, so the lip service seems disingenuous and disrespectful. 

2.  It cheapens the idea of getting engaged/married.  If I can’t say yes to him without my family’s approval am I really doing it of my own volition?  It takes away from the idea that I am in love with him and saying yes to him. 

Post # 5
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think it sounds fine to just phrase it as asking for their blessing rather than their permission. I kinda wish my fiance had asked my parents first, but that’s mostly because they would have loved to know what was going on (they had been waiting on a proposal!), and he was open with his parents about wanting to propose, so I think it’s fair that both sets of parents get roughly equal notice.

That’s great that you guys have reached a compromise though! Nice work!

Post # 6
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think it’s cool that you compromised, but can you explain why your desire to not be made to feel like a commodity that’s being traded is less important than his desire to ask? I just think, that in general, anytime there’s a tradition linked to “women as property” the woman’s feelings should honestly trump the guys’ opinion on the matter.

Post # 7
132 posts
Blushing bee

My SO really doesn’t want to ask my Dad’s permission, and fair enough, I don’t want him to either. But we’re both very close to our families and my Dad would be crushed if my SO didn’t at least speak to him before proposing. So he’s going to ask my Dad for his blessing and that’s it. My Dad is very conservative and always mentions how we should wait so and so years to “have our happily ever after” even though we’ve been together for 5 years and living together for 1.5yrs (we’re 22). So I think not asking his blessing would cause a lot of drama that I don’t particularly want to deal with. 


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