(Closed) Asking pregnant best friend to be MOH?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would be hurt if I wasn’t asked all because I was pregnant, if you want my honest response. Even if I had to politely decline or ask to just be a Bridesmaid or Best Man instead of having the Maid/Matron of Honor duties in the long run, if I’m who you want to ask first, ask me first.

I’ve never been pregnant before though, obviously, but many pregnant women function just fine. You may have to adjust your expectations for your Maid/Matron of Honor if it’s important to have your BFF fill that role, though. It all depends on how you both feel!

Post # 4
Member
3667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

If you don’t ask her, she might assume you don’t value her friendship anymore when in reality you were just trying to spare her some stress.

I would ask her but tell her you completely understand if she’s unable to (which it sounds like you do). Let her know what’s expected of her upfront, whether or not she can bring the baby to the wedding, etc.

Post # 6
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Ms.GoodEarth:  It sounds like you guys will be fine! Let her decide if she thinks she’ll be able to do it. I’d be open about the fact that you’re not expecting too much, so she’ll feel better about it. She may be nervous to accept. My BFF is probably getting engaged around the same time Darling Husband and I TTC (if her relationship progresses the way we all think it will!) and I’ve already told her as long as she has a dress that can contain a bump or post-baby-weight we’re good. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Though she keeps urging us to push it up so they can be a ringbearer or flowergirl. haha.

Are you having a child friendly wedding? Just curious! I think that new mamas like to be able to have their children around when they are that young (at least in my experience.) It could help her knowing her husband would have their child during the ceremony but the baby could be around for the rest. 

Post # 8
Member
3667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@Ms.GoodEarth:  I’m sure she’ll appreciate your consideration for both your friendship and her pregnancy ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My Maid/Matron of Honor is my sister and she’s going to be NINE months pregnant on my wedding day. This has made me a nervous wreck through the whole planning process.. but I want both of my sisters to be by my side. I’m so worried!!

Post # 10
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)

I think it’s so sweet that you’re so excited about your friend’s pregnancy and that you’re trying to put her needs first! That’s so refreshing, and I think you must be a really great friend. ๐Ÿ™‚ All that said, I think you both will be fine. I think that you should just talk to her and create a space in which she feels comfortable communicating her needs and what she anticipates her role will be to you. Given how considerate you’re already being, I have no doubt that you can have an extremely positive conversation that will get you both on the same page expectation-wise.

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