Post # 1
So, I’m a bit unsure how to handle this situation. A few months ago, we joined a synagogue because we liked the way services were run, plus we liked the rabbi. Also, we want to have a rabbi we’re comfortable with as our officiant.
As of now, we haven’t yet asked the rabbi to officiate our wedding. I don’t know if this is something they automatically do once you join a synagogue, though I think that was in part my hope. I’m also unsure HOW to ask him–we were hoping to talk with him in person, but he’s going to be unable to meet with us until Labor Day. So that rules out asking him in person for awhile. (We haven’t been able to go to services, and I also wouldn’t want to ask him because he’s always busy of course during the services).
So, would it be appropriate to ask him via email? That feels so, something not etiquette appropriate, and not very personal. Or, my mom suggested asking the synagogue administrator about it (my mom was the administrator at my home synagogue for awhile, and people used to ask her about this).
Oh, and one more thing that makes it sort of challenging maybe–my fiance is currently converting to Judaism, though doing it in a very untraditional, probably too unofficial sort of way, mainly working with the rabbi of my parents synagogue (across the country). And the rabbi at our synagogue knows this, though I’d imagine is sort of eh about the way it’s being done. So, I don’t know…
Anyway, I guess my untimate question is, how do I go about asking? Do I ask the administrator? Do I ask him via email? Or do I wait until he comes back and ask him in person?
Thanks everyone in advance for your thoughts!
Post # 3
It sounds like you’re dealing with a very small synagogue. We belone go a large shul, and we called and asked his secretary if he had a wedding scheduled for our date. When she said he didn’t, we asked to reseve the date, and she set up a meeting with our rabbi for us to come and discuss our plans with him. For us, it was siimilar to making a Dr. appointment….
Post # 4
We asked our administrator about it. She told us all the info we needed, including price which is free for members. Then she passed the word on to him and he got back to us about picking a date.
I think it depends on your rabbi. Our rabbi is very laid back, so my husband is facebook friends with him and communicates with him a lot on facebook about things like the wedding, and now our baby naming.
Post # 5
Can I ask what type of synagogue you have joined (ie reform, conservative…). That may matter in terms of the conversion process being “accepted.” Also, I would setup a meeting with the Rabbi to discuss in person, it may be easier to explain all the circumstances that way and alleviate most, if not all, confusion that may arise.
Post # 6
@CanAmBride: @artbee: I’m glad to hear that you both were successful contacting the administrator. Maybe I’ll try that. 🙂 The synagogue isn’t SOOOO huge (I think maybe a few hundred?) But it’s nice to know it’s a successful option.
@FutureDrKay: Both the synagogue we joined and my parent’s synagogue is conservative. The rabbi at my parent’s synagogue is just a very liberal person with I think is a pretty unique perspective on Judaism generally. I think that’s why his approach to conversion is different than many other rabbi’s.