Post # 1
I’m due with my first child on September 25. My best childhood friend has offered to throw me a baby shower back in my hometown where all of my family lives. She offered after asking when it would be and I told her that I don’t have one planned yet. She said she could do it in August when the house her and her boyfriend are rennovating is done. From the way she worded her offer, I got the feeling that she was offering because she is excited to show off her new home and all the hard work that her and her boyfriend have put into the hosue. I’m fine with that. She’s working her butt off and it’s her first home.
However, my sister in law offered to throw me a shower this past week. I told her thank you, but that my childhood friend already offered and that I would let her know that SIL is willing to help if she would like. As we talked about it, I told her it would be in August she seemed worried. My hometown is a 2.5 hour car ride on a good day. Because of traffic, it normally takes closer to 3.5 hours. My SIL doesn’t think August would be a good time, because of how far along I’ll be and how long the drive is.
I know that my childhood friend won’t be able to pay to host it somewhere and I would never expect her too. But now my SIL has me worried, she’s been pregnant and my friend hasn’t. Do I ask my friend if she’s willing to move the shower? Do I tell her that August doesn’t work for me, but that SIL has offered her house? I just feel bad, because I already accepted the shower at my friend’s house in August. Any help on how to word this without hurting feelings would be really helpful.
Post # 2
When in August is the shower? Even if it was at the very end you’d still be a month from your due date. I’ve been to showers up until 2 weeks from the mom-to-be’s due date. I know this isn’t a one-size-fits-all thing, but I think you would be fine having your shower at your friend’s house in August. I’d feel pretty bad going back on accepting the shower, especially if she’s super excited about it (which is really nice of her!).
Post # 3
It would have to be the end of August. I’m worried about the car ride. I pinched my sciatic nerve 4 months before becomnig pregnant and it’s back with a vengance. It’s already going to be a pain going next week for Easter and I’ve been warned it will only get worse the bigger the baby gets.
Post # 4
I would tell her that you simply won’t be able to travel that late in your pregnancy, and that your SIL has offered to throw one closer to your home. Honestly, pretty sure your doctor would tell you not to travel that distance a month out anyway.
Just make sure you stress how appreciative you are that she offered, and maybe see if your SIL could include her in helping plan, or help the day of (if she wants to of course).
Post # 5
Having a pinched sciatic nerve presently myself, I feel your pain! If that’s the case, then maybe just tell your friend that your pregnancy is exacerbating your pain and you’re concerned about the car ride, especially as you’ll be so far along. I would apologize profusely but say that you don’t think you’ll be able to make a party at that time. You could mention that your sister also offered her home after the fact, and that you’d love for your friend to be involved if she still wanted to be but woudl understand if she couldn’t. She might be a bit hurt but hopefully she’ll understand.
Post # 6
This OP is your out. Tell her you reinjured your scistic nerve and won’t be able to travel after all. That’s all you need to say. Safety is more important at this point.
Post # 7
Be honest. Your concerns are totally valid, unforeseen, and beyond your control. You clearly care about your friend and appreciate her offer. Let her know in the way you explained it here and she should understand. 🙂