(Closed) Asking someone to be in your wedding…

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

 

I’d say just do what feels natural for your friendship and the way you normally communicate, and don’t feel forced to make a big production out of it. You’re setting the tone for the rest of the wedding planning here, so if you make a big elaborate production of it, you’re setting expectations that the rest of th planning will also be big and elaborate. I asked my bridesmaids in person but didn’t make a special social visit of it; I asked one reader by IM (he lives 900 miles away and we IM all the time but never talk on the phone) and another by email (she was local but we have a hard time getting together due to our scheudle conflicts, although I did acknowledge that an email might not have been the most “proper” way to do it but I’d wanted to get it on her radar quickly instead of waiting a month till we got together again). Darling Husband asked his Groomsmen by text or IM since they were all from out of town and they text and IM way more than they talk on the phone.

I didn’t see the need for fancy cards, little gifts or any of that— it’s just not my style nor the style of anyone in the wedding party— and I don’t think anyone missed that.

Post # 5
Member
9578 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I just asked- on the phone.  But a few of them knew they would be anyway.

Post # 7
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think this is one of the tasks that many brides make too complicated for themselves; if you’re crafty, or feel like showering your bridesmaids/groomsmen with gifts and affection, by all means, do so, but the concept that you can’t just ask a simple question to a friend without a lot of fanfare is a little unrealistic. I’m not sure if, like the TTD photo shoots, this is just another “milestone” created by the wedding industry and fed to us by websites and reality shows, but it sure feels like it’s just another way to create stress and a line item in the budget with very little value on the emotion/labor/time invested. 

Post # 8
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I just e-mailed everyone and asked.

Post # 9
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Well, I didn’t have to ask my sister…that was a given. I’m still deciding if I want anyone else…if I choose one friend, I will ask her face to face…the other two I could choose, I’d have to ask by phone, since they live elsewhere. When we first started planning, I told all my friends I was only having my sister, so nobody is waiting in anticipation anyway. I remember when one of my best friend’s texted me she was engaged…yes, we are text crazy ladies…I was immediately thinking ‘why didn’t she go ahead and ask me to be a bridesmaid?’ LIKE A PSYCHO, but she called me later that night to say ‘Oh, and of course you’ll be a bridesmaid…’ WHEW!

Post # 10
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I created a photo book of pictures of us over the years and then on the last page put a poem and at the end said “will you be my bridesmaid?!”

They LOVED it! And it is a memory for them to keep.

I created the books on http://www.snapfish.com

Haven’t asked the guys yet.

Post # 11
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m interested in the responses too because I have the same problem.  I don’t know how to ask.  My sister and best friend are a given.  I’m not sure if I even asked them.  We just assumed. ha  Then the party grew due to family expectations.  I have no idea how to ask his sister.  we’re not close, at all.  I mean, we’re friendly to each other but she’s not a very warm person and I always feel on edge around her like she is jduging me.  🙁 

So, i really have no idea.  🙁

Post # 12
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I either asked in person or called those who I didn’t see shortly after the engagement.  This is just my opinion, but it seems like people are making spectacles out of everything (youtube proposals!  baby pee stick reveal photoshoots!), so a simple “Will you be my bridesmaid” conversation was my way to go.

Post # 13
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

posting to bookmark, will be picking in the next few months. I want to do something creative for my girls

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