(Closed) Asking the Officiant to lie?

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I haven’t, so I don’t have that perspective, but I would say that in cases like these honesty is the best policy. In the end, it’s probably just easier!

Post # 4
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I would be honest and tell the officiant that you are already married but none of your family know and request that they proceed as normal. Ask if there is anything that could come up that would reveal that you are already married. Our friends had courthouse wedding and a religious service years later, I would have never known the difference.

Post # 5
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

I am already married to Fiance and I told the officient that we are now having our wedding ceremony in the eyes of god and our family without all the legal aspects. He was fine with it. 

Post # 6
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i wouldnt mention it.

I would just let them think it was our first time getting married!

Post # 7
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

This happens more than you’d think it does.

Just be honest – it’s probably not the first time it’s happened to them.

Post # 8
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

This happened to my best friend. They were friends with their priest and explained the situation and he said it was fine to have a church ceremony separate from their civil ceremony.

Post # 9
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We had two ceremonies – one legal to satisfy immigration rules and later a religious/family one.  In our case everyone knew we were already married including our pastor, but he felt that we should do the vows in the light that they were intended, i.e. using my maiden name and nothing in the ceremony itself that would indicate anything other then that this was our first time being married.  The *only* thing we couldn’t/didn’t do was get and sign a marriage license because we were already legally married.

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