(Closed) Asking the Speech-Makers: Who Does It?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I think it’s pretty standard knowledge that the best man makes a speech.  The Maid/Matron of Honor making a speech is really more of a modern thing.   Personally, I wouldn’t tell anyone this is their responsibility.  I just don’t like the idea of asking someone to give a toast to you.  (It’s like asking them to throw you a shower.)

My guess is best man knows, so don’t worry.  Maid/Matron of Honor, well I don’t think it’s something she should have to do, especially if she doesn’t feel comfortable.  But if she wants to, of course that’s fine.  As for other speeches, I would actually try to make sure there aren’t too many speeches, or if it’s really important to peole, try to make them short.

I know this is your special day, and some people might want to take their opportunity to speak highly of you.  But too many long winded speeches is hard for guests.  Most of these speech makers are not that talented at it, IMO. 

Post # 4
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Several of the weddings I have been to had the best man and Maid/Matron of Honor speeches at the reception. (My wedding included.)  But none of them are mandatory.  My Dad also spoke up for a moment, and his dad gave a speech at teh rehearsal dinner.  Dont feel like anyone has to, and dont ask someone you know to be terrified of public speaking, but it wouldnt be out of line for any close friend or relative to give a speech.

Post # 5
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We are each asking two close friends to “say something” at the reception.  We’ll also ask if the parents would like to have a moment.  We’re not having a bridal party, so we need to spell these things out a bit more.  Either way, I think it’s fine to ask if someone would be comfortable speaking.  They can always say no!

Post # 6
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House

I asked my sister (MOH) and the mister asked his brother (BM) to say something during dinner — about a minute or two each.  My dad will also be welcoming everyone before dinner is served…and I think after dinner, the mister and I will share a few brief remarks as well.  I hope that’s not TOO much speaking!

Post # 7
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

My sister (MOH) and our best man will both be making a speech. My sister just kind of knew and brought it up one day on her own, but I would have politely asked her to make one if she hadn’t. Our best man (FI’s brother) also just knew, but my Fiance also brought it up casually. We didn’t tell anyone, “You MUST make a speech!” though. My uncle, who’s basically my dad, is also saying a few words (I asked if he would want to, and he said he was honored, and apparently, he’s really excited about it. My fiance and I plan on making a toast to our new families at the cocktail hour. As far as the rehearsal dinner, we’re just letting anyone who wants to speak, speak.

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