Post # 1
So my fiance and I are pretty wedding illiterate, even though I have been reading these boards for a while. How does it work with the speeches at the rehearsal dinner and at the reception? Who makes a speech? Do people volunteer to do it, or is it something we ask people to do?
These are the things I have heard:
“Groom is to make a speech at the rehearsal dinner.” Is this right? Am I to make a speech as well? Should we make one together? Is anyone else expected to make a speech at this time?
“Best Man and Maid of Honor are to make a speech at reception.” Do they know this, are we expected to ask them, or remind them that this is an expected role of theirs? Are any other people going to be expecting to make speeches? Two should be enough, I would think…
Thanks for any advice!
Post # 3
I think it’s pretty standard knowledge that the best man makes a speech. The Maid/Matron of Honor making a speech is really more of a modern thing. Personally, I wouldn’t tell anyone this is their responsibility. I just don’t like the idea of asking someone to give a toast to you. (It’s like asking them to throw you a shower.)
My guess is best man knows, so don’t worry. Maid/Matron of Honor, well I don’t think it’s something she should have to do, especially if she doesn’t feel comfortable. But if she wants to, of course that’s fine. As for other speeches, I would actually try to make sure there aren’t too many speeches, or if it’s really important to peole, try to make them short.
I know this is your special day, and some people might want to take their opportunity to speak highly of you. But too many long winded speeches is hard for guests. Most of these speech makers are not that talented at it, IMO.
Post # 4
Several of the weddings I have been to had the best man and Maid/Matron of Honor speeches at the reception. (My wedding included.) But none of them are mandatory. My Dad also spoke up for a moment, and his dad gave a speech at teh rehearsal dinner. Dont feel like anyone has to, and dont ask someone you know to be terrified of public speaking, but it wouldnt be out of line for any close friend or relative to give a speech.
Post # 5
We are each asking two close friends to “say something” at the reception. We’ll also ask if the parents would like to have a moment. We’re not having a bridal party, so we need to spell these things out a bit more. Either way, I think it’s fine to ask if someone would be comfortable speaking. They can always say no!
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House
I asked my sister (MOH) and the mister asked his brother (BM) to say something during dinner — about a minute or two each. My dad will also be welcoming everyone before dinner is served…and I think after dinner, the mister and I will share a few brief remarks as well. I hope that’s not TOO much speaking!
Post # 7
My sister (MOH) and our best man will both be making a speech. My sister just kind of knew and brought it up one day on her own, but I would have politely asked her to make one if she hadn’t. Our best man (FI’s brother) also just knew, but my Fiance also brought it up casually. We didn’t tell anyone, “You MUST make a speech!” though. My uncle, who’s basically my dad, is also saying a few words (I asked if he would want to, and he said he was honored, and apparently, he’s really excited about it. My fiance and I plan on making a toast to our new families at the cocktail hour. As far as the rehearsal dinner, we’re just letting anyone who wants to speak, speak.
Post # 8
Yeah I have no plans on demanding speeches be made, but our friends are just as wedding-knowledgable (read: absolutely unknowledgable) as us. So we figured, since they haven’t said anything yet, that maybe they weren’t sure of the roles either. My best friend is my Maid/Matron of Honor and I would have no trouble bringint it up with her, and she would have no problem telling me if she felt uncomfortable making a speech.
I’ll let Fiance deal with Best Man. I am at the point where I don’t really care if things go as they are “supposed” to. I just wanted to make sure I don’t offend anyone or something like that! Thanks for the input ladies!