(Closed) Asking to be a bridesmaid

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’ve never had anyone ask, but a friend of mine assumed that she would be. It was some off-handed comment that went kind of like, “when I’m a bridesmaid at your wedding someday…”

I knew even then that I wouldn’t be asking her when the time came, and her comment made me very uncomfortable. I think it’s impolite to make an assumption like that, and also impolite to ask. Awkward!

Post # 4
Member
724 posts
Busy bee

I had a sort-of-friend straight up to demand to be a bridesmaid because technically she introduced me to my BF…. and I’m not even engaged yet! She was 100% serious.

 

ETA: Out of curiosity, is she going to be a Bridesmaid? Haha

Post # 7
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My ex best friend texted me say ing “I better be a bridesmaid”, after not going to my engagement party and lying multiple times about why (after I solved each ‘problem’ that arised). Safe to say I didn’t reply to that text.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by  GalaxyCat.
Post # 8
Member
9520 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

It is rude usually but in this case it sounds like a reasonable assumption. You are making her a bridesmaid and it sounds like a close enough friendship for her to ask. Its cute. 

Post # 9
Member
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Is she young?  In some cases I think it’s kind of ignorant to ask to be a bridesmaid, in her case it doesn’t sound like it though, somehow.

Post # 10
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
alinyc:  I had the same thing happen to me! In college, a friend and I were walking past a bridal salon and the topic of weddings came up and she said “when I’m a bridesmaid in your wedding, we’ll do this!” so awkward… she’s not even invited to the wedding know as we haven’t spoken (other than fb chat) in years, but even at the time I knew she would not be a bridesmaid.

Post # 11
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

View original reply
CrankyTurtle:  my Future Sister-In-Law asked my Fiance if I was going to ask her to be a bridesmaid but I didnt think it was rude. I knew I was going to ask her so it was fine.

Post # 12
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My younger cousins (16 & 19) asked me this shortly before I got engaged. We were just casually talking about my Fiance and one of them kinda blurted out “OMG when you get married can I be a bridesmaid?” and the other “Me too!”. I just kinda laughed it off and said “we’ll see” or something else ambiguous because it caught me off guard. Depending on the age of your sister’s friend, she may just be enticed by the prospect of wearing a cute matching dress and taking photos. I’m pretty sure that was the motivation for my cousins anyway as they haven’t yet been in a wedding and we’re not that close. I’ve since asked my bridesmaids and my wedding is approaching, they haven’t mentioned it since and I doubt they’re offended that I didn’t ask them.

Post # 13
Member
4037 posts
Honey bee

We didn’t have a issue with the adults, but boy we did have mothers campaigning to get their daughters to be flowergirls. My SIL prompted her daughter to ask cousins if she could be their flower girl, at least twice; one bride flipped out – the other, my daughter, tried to keep her eyes from rolling and bursting out laughing. The girl is almost 15 now, so it looks like that will never happen. My guess is she’ll end up on a therapist’s couch, because of all the rejections, because isn’t being a flowergirl the primary goal, of a girl’s life?

Post # 14
Member
1316 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
CrankyTurtle:  A few years ago, when I was very close to a girl we’ll call Sarah (I was also dating Fiance at the time and we were beginning to talk marriage), a conversation about weddings came up and Sarah said “I better be your MOH!” and I was like “Hehe umm yah?” And now we’re not nearly as close and she’s not even invited to the wedding – I still feel bad about it!

Post # 15
Member
660 posts
Busy bee

we’re close with my tween-aged cousins. when we got engaged, their mom told my mom that the girls “wanted to be in my wedding”. my mom knew it’s an adults only reception, so them being invited was touchy. my mom prepped me before we saw them in person, but their mom actually said it again, which i guess isn’t the same as asking for the kids to be in it, but i thought was still kinda ballsy. i basically just nervous laughed and told her that would be sweet, but we’re only having adults in the bridal party. this is also a lie, because FI’s niece, who’s the only child in the family, is definitely a junior bridesmaid. but she’s a niece, not a cousin.

i love that the girls want to be involved, but it’s still an awkward situation.

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