(Closed) Asking too much?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Are you in the wedding?

My Future Sister-In-Law is a Bridesmaid or Best Man in my wedding and did not attend my out of town shower (the same distance as you would have to go).  I did not have a wedding in the town we live in.  I was a little put off by it at first because she lied to me about the reason but whatever it didn’t end up mattering. I had a great time regardless and honestly didn’t notice she wasn’t there.  Your Mother-In-Law needs to accept whatever you chose.  Even my crazy mother got over the fact his sister didn’t attend, so will your Mother-In-Law.

PS are you a SIL I didn’t know I had? Your Mother-In-Law sounds JUST like my mom…Funny they’re in the same area, too (and so are you and I!). Must be something in the water up north?!

Post # 4
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

It’s a little over the top that your Future Mother-In-Law expects you to attend a shower that is 10 hours away from you after already attending one that is local, IMO. If it were me I would just outright tell her I couldn’t afford it, especially if she’s seriously playing the guilt card, but that’s just me. Either way I really wouldn’t give in on this one. Maybe some other bees have better advice.

Post # 5
Member
7736 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes, it is asking too much. It’s just a freaking party! I would never expect anyone to come 10 hours for anything except the actual wedding, even if they were in the wedding party.

Just say, “No, I’ll be busy and I’m already going to the other shower”. Also get your Fiance (her son) in to tell her to back off. Remind her over and over, “it’s just a party, do I need to drive 10 hours just to watch Future Sister-In-Law open a few presents?”, i.e. try to make her see how ridiculous the request is.

Post # 6
Member
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Oh my gosh, this is crazy, Let her pay for your travel expenses if she is going to insist on your attendance. Weddings make people nuts.

Post # 8
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Mother-In-Law, I wish I had the days off or the extra money, but since i work a second job and I am already attending her shower at X location I just cant take more time off. I wish things were different, but they are not. Please send me pictures of the party because I would love to see them.



Post # 9
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

umm yeah it’s over the top to insist that you attend both showers. Your Fmil needs to back off, tell you you can’t afford it. If she insist on bringing it up perhaps your Fi should speak to her and said we made this choice as a couple please respect our choice. That or just ignore ignore ignore her.

Post # 10
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@PinkAndPearls2013:  Oh well it’s nice she’s an over loving Mother-In-Law than a crazy one!  I’d just let her know you’re very sorry but you really can’t afford it at the moment and you look forward to her telling you all about it. 

Post # 11
Member
733 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

People like this annoy me.

I am having 2 showers. One here and one which is a 22 hour drive away. I don’t expect people to go to both. That’s silly and pointless.

Post # 12
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You’re being reasonable to attend one and take a pass on the other one.  I’m sure your MFIL means well and is clearly happy that you’re part of the family (which is lovely), so you just have to be firm and clear, and kind, about why you can’t attend the 2nd shower.  If she’s at all a reasonable person, she’ll understand.

Post # 13
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@PinkAndPearls2013:  10 hours is too far to travel/a plane ticket is too expensive for a bridal shower alone. you are totally in your right not to go… ESPECIALLY since you’re going to the shower that’s close to home. anyway, i would never expect someone two attend two showers for me. if there are two showers, there should be two seperate guest lists. i know that family could be the exception to that, but i’d still never expect them to attend two showers.

Post # 14
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

They will get over it- don’t feel too bad.

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