Post # 1
How much is too much? I have 4 bridesmaids, all in serious live in/married relationships (AKA double incomes) and one who will hopefully get some help from her mom (she is working on being a doctor). I am in my late twenties – so as you can imagine the bridesmaids are in good shape, overall. Anyway, three are fine and not too money stressed. One said to me (note her fiance makes 70+ K and I thought they combined assets like my FI) that money was tight. I instantly worried – I think she is fine, but also don’t want to be unreasonable. The costs that I am expecting are as follows:
Shoes (any, pick your own but not certain colors)
Hair for wedding day (covered by my family)
Bachelorette party (hotel room covered)
What do you think?? I feel like this is fair but need a second opinion!
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta
@WaitingDogMama: So you are only asking them to buy a dress? $178 is a little expensive so I hope they love the dress! Do they have to travel to the wedding?
I am asking my maids to:
Travel 10+ hour drive, 4 hour flight, the other is local
Stay two nights in the hotel $170/night
Come to the bachelorette party (they don’t have to pay for drinks)
Come to the rehersal and welcome picnic the day before the wedding
Buy any dress they like in the fabric and color I choose $80-130
Wear any pair of beige flats
Get their hair done for free
Do their own make-up
Post # 4
@WaitingDogMama: I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all!!! I’m asking a lot more from mine and they make a lot less than yours..
Post # 5
@WaitingDogMama: Are there significant travel expenses (or any other sort of expenses) for the bachelorette party? That’s the only possible “money pit” I can see. $178 for the dress is reasonable.
Post # 6
@WaitingDogMama: I don’t think what you are asking is unreasonable, but I wouldn’t assume that anyone is in ‘good shape’ financially, with the amount of student debt, etc. that people can rack up these days. Maybe they are saving to buy a house, paying off student debt, etc.
Post # 7
Hmmm. actually no really no real travel expenses (they live here). The bachelorette party is comped by the room being paid for but if they want spa services they need to pay for them.
Post # 8
@WaitingDogMama: Keep in mind that a dress that costs $178, is really going to cost a little under $300 in the end, after alterations. However no, I don’t think that is really asking too much. However, maybe speak to each of them individually and ask if a dress at that price is in their price range.
Post # 9
It is a nordstrom dress/macys/zappos == so hopefully no wedding shop alterations 🙂
Post # 10
@WaitingDogMama: I don’t think you’re asking too much but you HAVE to stop considering their finances as an excuse to justify costs. It is NONE of your business. There is a difference between having the money and chosing to spend it.
Post # 11
@WaitingDogMama: Under 200 is reasonable for the dress especially if there arent any other costs and no travel! Nice youre paying for Bachy party hotel too.
I say: beyond reasonable.
Post # 12
I don’t think what you’re asking for is unreasonable at all. I would be thrilled to only spend $178 🙂 However, I don’t think you should judge how much money someone has to throw around. Just because they make a lot doesn’t mean they have a lot to spend.
Post # 13
$178 for the whole series of obligational wedding costs sounds fine to me!
Post # 14
@WaitingDogMama: I think you are being totally reasonable!
Post # 15
I think that’s reasonable. I bought my bridesmaids’ dresses for them, but I was recently in a wedding and all told, I spent about $1500. It is what it is.
Post # 16
I have to echo PPs. I don’t think that what you’ve listed is unreasonable. However, what is going on for the shower or the other bachelorette festivities? Because if they’re picking up the tab for that, it can add up very quickly, especially after gifts, etc.
But you can’t assume someone has a lot of money because they make a lot of money. If I told you my income, you might be like “Holy crap, that’s a lot. You could totally do more.” But the reality is that money is really tight in our house right now. We’re starting a business so income is a bit erratic, we have to buy our own healthcare, and we’re saving for a baby. Oh, and we pay an amazing amount of student loans every month. If we didn’t have those, we WOULD feel rich.