Asking you husband permission to go out?!

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
392 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Thats crazy!

Post # 4
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

LOL – – we have friends like this.  Fiance did it the other day too – a friend asked him to go to the casino with him, and he said “Let me ask Lindsay.” I was like, “you don’t have to ask me permission to do anything!” He told me he didn’t mean it so much as asking permission, but making sure we didn’t have any prior committments.  Hopefully that’s what she meant too.  🙂

Post # 5
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Weird… I mean, I let R know, or double check to make sure I’m not spacing on plans, and sometimes ask if he minds for bigger things, but I don’t ask permission!

Post # 6
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Maybe she just meant she needed to talk to him before she could commit? I might say that exact same thing, but not because I need permission from him. More because we both run plans by each other before we commit out of courtesy and to make sure there are no conflicts. 

Post # 7
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Maybe she meant just to check in with him…?  I know if I plan on doing something after work, I just check in with Fiance to make sure he’ll be home to feed the cats and to make sure we have nothing going on.

That said, asking permission is absurd.

Post # 8
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

I would give her the benefit of the doubt and maybe think she meant “let me ask my husband if we have any plans tonight that I don’t know about?”

If she really meant she needed to ask him for permission I would think she was crazy :p

Post # 9
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I have friends like this. Love them to death, but to ever do anything with one of them, the other has to check to make sure it is okay. I think that they feel that the other person has claim to their personal time. They are same-sex, so at least with them it isn’t a patriarchy thing.

Fiance and I on the other hand tell eachother what we are doing. We only ask on Friday and Saturday nights.

Post # 10
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Haha, I agree with what some of the ppl have said. She was probably making sure there are no commitments. Fiance and I ask each other stuff all the time for that purpose, sometimes following it up with “that okay with you?” Just to show each other that we know we can, but want the other person to know that their opinion matters.

If she wasn’t well…I weep for her.

Post # 12
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

I think “let me ask my husband” is much more likely to mean – hey dear, i know we haven’t had a minute together in a week, do you mind if i go for a coffee cuz you are staying late at work tonight or were you looking forward to watching tv with me and getting home early tonight? or something else like that rather than actual permission. 

Post # 13
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Unless I “think” we’re doing something that day. THen i’ts like “oh lemme check”

But I don’t ASK permission…but if i know it’s a certain time like birthdays or something, it’s possible that that is not a free day.

Post # 14
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

She may have just meant that she wanted to make sure they didn’t have plans or that he needed for whatever reason.  But I do know people that kinda ask permission.  It always makes me wonder how controlling their husbands are or how archaic their way of thinking is.  I don’t feel a need to ask to go out, nor does my Fiance require it.  Sometimes I ask if he doesn’t mind, I don’t know why I ask, he never does. 

Post # 15
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I agree with PP…I really don’t think she meant, “let me ask my husband permission.”  I think she meant let me call the person I live with and share my life with and make sure there isn’t something else we’re doing tonight and if there’s not, let him know that I won’t be home at these times so that he doesn’t wonder where I am.  Because sometimes, I call my Fiance to let him know I’m doing something and discover that he was planning to cook me a lovely meal, or something like that, and then I reschedule my plans….not because he didn’t give me permission, but because I don’t want to miss out on a nice evening and a homecooked meal with him.  So maybe give her the benefit of the doubt?  It’s not as if she said, “I need to check with my husband, because I can only do the things he approves and otherwise I have to sit and home and twiddle my thumbs.”

Post # 16
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Yeah, I see what you mean. But maybe she meant let me ask & make sure he doesn’t have any plans? I always let my Fiance know what I’m doing…& I try to tell my girlfriends to let me know ahead of time what we’re doing so that Fiance can plan something, too. But, by no means do I ask his “permission.” We both know the guidelines in our relationship so there’s no need to talk about that 🙂

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