Post # 1
I haven’t been here since I was a waiting bee, but we got engaged about 7 months ago and we are getting married in ’15, so we are finally starting to plan. My biggest question right now is about who we would like to have as an officiant. My Aunts are a lesbian couple and played a huge part in me growing up, including living with my family for the first 5 years of my life. My Aunt that is related by blood is certified to be an officiant because of work. We would love to have them both be our wedding officiants, and I have a couple questions about it.
First off, does anyone have any recommendations as to how to run it with 2 people acting as your officiants? Also, any recommendations on how to ask them?
Also, does anyone have any recommendations on how to explain the situation to someone who might not agree with it- for example Tim’s grandmother who was upset that my sister and law didn’t have a pastor, and I’m sure that she will be very unhappy if we have a lesbian couple marry us.
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@Tachetetreasures: I’m not sure about the ceremony question but as for conservative grandma, don’t feel that it’s necessary to explain anything about your wedding to ANYONE.
Post # 4
@Tachetetreasures: To ask them – “Will you be our officiants?” Also you’re not required to explain your choices to anyone. I know my grandma would’ve been disappointed if we wanted to get married outside of a church (we are marrying in a church though), but as much as I love her, it’s our decision.
My FSIL had a Catholic priest and a Presbyterian minister do their ceremony, so it can be done. I guess just give them each a role.
Post # 5
If you want both of them to be your officiants, what if you, your FI, and your aunts sat down and wrote your own ceremony? This way, each lady could have a script of what she was going to say and when. Even if you took a run of the mill ceremony and broke it down for each lady and had them say something different at different times. I’ve found this to be most helpful when having two officiants.
As for the grandmother, there’s probably no right way to tell her that you are not having a pastor/priest and, oh yeah, the ladies just happen to be lesbians. However, be firm in your decision, and explain to her the importance of having them stand up there and marry you and your FI. Most importantly, at the end of the day, her opinion shouldn’t matter. Everyone is going to have an opinion on EVERYTHING and if it isn’t who’s marrying you, it’s the color of your bridesmaids dresses, the time in which you got married, the choice of appetizers. I, personally, think it’s KICKASS you and your FI have such an awesome way of incorporating two important people into your ceremony! My SO and I have already decided we are not having a pastor/priest because neither of us are particularly religious and are asking my best friend to do the ceremony!
Post # 6
With my bridesmaids I am asking them with a photo frame of the 2 of us in a folding frame with the other side being a letter asking them to be my bridesmaid. I want to do something similar for asking them, but I we don’t have any photos of all 4 of us together. To you think just a framed letter asking them and some sort of gift?