(Closed) Assigning tables, please help me understand

posted 6 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Assign seats?
    yes : (27 votes)
    75 %
    no : (5 votes)
    14 %
    depends, please comment : (4 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    332 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    If your family and friends are use to not having a seating chart then I wouldn’t worry about it. There different reasons why people use one. It may be what others are use to, people may fight or feel uncomfortable sitting with certain people, people may be lost on where to sit, etc. I say if you’re use to not having one don’t worry 🙂

    Post # 4
    1715 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    The problem arrises when guests come in and leave random spaces between groups at table and when the last of your guests come in there are only single seats for the family of 4 that just walked in. Also the mother in law that is mad that she has to sit in the back where no one can see her. It was nice to have the arranged seating because the parents were very happy not to have to sit with there kids and have adult time.

    Post # 5
    552 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I’ve been playing with the idea for a while now and just decided today to do a seating plan (my wedding is 11 days away…yikes!)

    The main reason is to make sure that people end up at tables where they will get along with others. I have a few controversial family members and I would like them to be away from certain guests during dinner, where their mouths may run.

    Also we have a small venue and just enough seats so I want to make sure that everyone gets a seat as there are some singles and trios.

    Post # 6
    1237 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I don’t think they’re necessary. We were dead set on not having a seating assignment because we had been to some successful open seating receptions. However, then we went to a wedding where we didn’t know very many people and so it was awkward trying to figure out where to sit and then we ended up sitting with my mom’s gyno. We decided we’ll do assigned tables after that haha. I never thought about the guests who may not know as many people and how it might be hard for them to figure out where to sit until that wedding and I don’t want our guests to feel that way

    ETA: Want to be clear: we are assigning tables not seats

    Post # 7
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think they are generally necessary.

    – Is your seating very tight/exact? If you are doing seated dining (versus cocktail party style or tapas) and there’s exactly 100 seats for exactly 100 people, you risk having couples or families split up. It is like on a plane without assigned seating. The last people to come in are sometimes split up because there are not two seats side by side. If the last people to come in is a family of 5, for example, and all you have is two seats at one table and three seats at another, then either another three people at table 1 have to move or two people at table 2 have to move to accomodate the family of 5.

    – Are there dietary restrictions and you are doing a plated meal? Your caterer wants to know ahead of time who is the gluten-free vegan at your wedding without you or someone else (or the guest) tell them the day of.

    – Are you doing a buffet meal in a free-for-all style? If you are not having the DJ call up each table one by one, but instead, let people go up like a stampede, then people have to claim their seats or risk it being occupied when they return or risk not being able to sit with each other. It’s like grabbing a seat at Starbucks during finals time. First come, first serve.

    – Do you have guests that won’t know other guests? It is VERY awkward being that one couple that doesn’t know anyone else. We’ve attended a few very small weddings where we were the only friends amongst a sea of relatives and it is very isolating. It helps when it’s assigned so you don’t have to be like the new kid at school going up to people and asking “Can I sit here?”

    Post # 8
    2106 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Assigning tables seems to be the best compromise.  That way you don’t have to sort the exact seat and put down place cards, but you can also make sure that all the tables are full-up, no couples or social groups are split up, family goes to the front, etc.

    Post # 9
    945 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    If I’m attending a wedding I am hoping for assigned seats. I want to know I have a place to sit no matter what. Instead of awkwardly sitting with random peopl.  

    Post # 10
    2968 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    if you’re having a small wedding, then i don’t think assigned seating is necessary. but if you’ll have more than 100(?) guests, i definitely think it makes things easier on everybody.

    i was at wedding that didn’t have assigned seating and every time my family and i would try to sit somewhere, another guest would come over and say, “oh, i’m saving these seats/this table.” it was really annoying.

    also, as others have said, if people choose to sit where they want, there will probably be 2 empty seats at one table, 3 at another, 1 at another, etc. so if there’s a family of 4 looking for a place to sit, it will make things difficult for them.

    if you don’t want to do assigned seating, i think at the very least you should reserve a few tables for your immediate family and/or bridal party and let them know that their seats are saved.

    my fiance and i were in a wedding with an open seating plan and as soon we arrived at the reception, it was every man for himself and we were on our own- the bride totally forgot about us (or just didn’t care). one of the bridesmaids didn’t know anyone at the wedding (besides the bride and groom), so it was especially awkward for her to decide where to sit.


    Post # 11
    9917 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I wrote yes, though I really mean assign tables.  I don’t think we need to separate couples these days, but I do think it gives guests a bit of help in finding a seat to give them a table.  I know I would have that moment of “OH MY GOD IT’S SEVENTH GRADE AND I CAN’T FIND MY ONE FRIEND IN THE CAFETERIA AND I HAVE THIS WHOLE TRAY OF FOOD OH MY GOD EVERYONE IS STARING AT ME”…

    Post # 12
    1271 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Assign tables, yes.

    Assign seats, no.

    Post # 13
    19 posts
    • Wedding: December 2012

    We’re assigning tables because his family is coming from about  3 or more hours away. We want people to sit with people theyknow, but also people they don’t know. So we’ll try to split it up so that half of the tabl is his family and the other half is mine. And we’ll do that around the room, with the hopes that they’ll get toknow each other.

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